#as i lay there in bed imagining being dropped into a tv show

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

Perhaps... I can have a self insert... As a little treat... Haha jk... Unless...?

[theemporium]

[3.5k] luke hits the west coast for his first long roadie of the season with some unsettling feelings about leaving jersey for so long. who would have thought his biggest problem on the road would end up being looking at his caller id over the actual hockey games he was playing? (smut)

series masterlist

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hockey boy: u up?

Luke Hughes had never felt like more of a fuck boy than he did the moment he had sent the text—which was ironic when he was quite literally the opposite of a fuckboy.

He hadn’t even meant for it to come across that way. Genuinely, he did not.

Despite being officially in the NHL for over a month now, this was the first time Luke was going on a roadie across the country whilst wearing the New Jersey red on his back. Most of their away games had been in nearby cities, where they would maybe spend a day or two in another city before returning to Jersey. 

But this was the longest one yet—a full ten days in the west coast for games against San Jose, LA and Anaheim. 

He wanted to say it wasn’t a big deal, that he was used to the life of hockey taking him to new cities and states. But things were different in the NHL. The stakes were higher, the games meant more even this early in the season, things just felt a lot more intense.

But it felt stupid to confess as much to his brother or any of the other boys when he literally played in the playoff games last season, when the stakes were the Cup. 

However, Luke couldn’t shake off the weird intensity of the roadie. He played off Jack’s concerned looks with some bullshit excuse that he was tired, that he was just struggling to sleep these days. It didn’t wave away his older brother’s concern but it got him off his back for a little bit. It let Jack focus on a different concern and not the real reason (that felt borderline childish to admit) that he felt on edge about leaving Jersey for so long. 

And it meant that Luke was laying in the hotel room alone whilst Jack was out with some of the other guys on the team for dinner, embracing the one free evening they had before the game tomorrow against San Jose. 

He had flipped through a variety of shows on the tv and scrolled through endless apps on his phone before he gave in, his finger hovering over the send button before he clicked it.

It hadn’t even hit him how his text sounded until your reply came through a few moments later. 

cherry🍒: damn hughes

cherry🍒: you gonna ask me what i’m wearing next?

His cheeks instantly burned hot, something quite like embarrassment and awkwardness bubbling in the pit of his stomach. 

At least it was hard to focus on the upcoming games when he was too busy thinking about the quickest ways to flee the country and change his identity. 

hockey boy: absolutely not 

Luke’s fingers moved fast on the screen, already drafting up a second message when your reply came through. 

cherry🍒: rude :( 

cherry🍒: maybe I had something special on for you 

And that was enough to make his brain go blank, the sentence he was in the middle of typing long forgotten as he stared at the words on his screen. He almost felt guilty how quickly his imagination came up with images of you back on his bed, just like his birthday party, in something short and sexy and—

He almost dropped his phone on his face when it began buzzing in his hand, scrambling to sit up in his bed as he answered. 

“H-Hello?” He cleared his throat, his face burning warmer when he heard your laugh on the other side. 

“You sound a little caught off, Hughes,” you teased, lighthearted and playful. “Did I interrupt something?” 

“I—no!” Luke exclaimed, though something inside him relaxed when you laughed again. “I didn’t…I didn’t mean for it to come off like that. I swear. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“I didn’t think so considering it’s been five minutes since my last message and you hadn’t replied yet. Not really setting the mood there.” 

He shook his head, his lips twitching upwards. “So you’re saying you’re not wearing something special for me?” 

“Unfortunately not. Just some sweats and a hoodie.” 

“Hm,” Luke hummed before frowning, taking a quick glance at the time on his phone before he swore under his breath. “Shit, I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

You laughed and something in his chest tightened as he imagined the soft smile on your face as you did so. “No, I couldn’t get to sleep. I was just watching some random episode of The Vampire Diaries before you called.”

Luke blinked. “The what?” 

You fell silent for a moment. “Tell me you’re joking.” 

He paused as well before he spoke in the most unconvincing voice. “I’m joking?” 

“Forget watching it, how have you never heard of it?!” 

“I don’t know!” Luke defended weakly, shuffling back further against the pillows. “Is this your subtle way of telling me to watch it?”

“No!” 

He frowned. “No?”

“I want to watch it with you. I want to see your reactions.” 

Luke snorted but he didn’t disagree, something fond and warm bubbling in the pit of his stomach at your insistence. “Fine, deal,” he mused. “But it would have at least given me something to do.” 

“Wow, is Jack that boring of a roommate?” 

He laughed. “Nah, he went out with some of the other guys for dinner.” 

“You didn’t feel like joining?” 

“Not really,” he admitted. 

“How come?” 

“Just…didn’t feel like it,” he said, his fingers tugging on the drawstrings of his hoodie as the spiralling thoughts began to creep in again. Like a reminder he wasn’t just lying on his bed back in Jersey talking away to you on the phone, that he was actually on the other side of the country. 

And it seemed like you sensed his reluctance, the shift in his voice like he seemed distant and you wanted to pull him back in.

“So you try to sext me instead?” Your voice was playful and taunting and he could imagine the smirk on your face so clearly. 

“Shut up,” he groaned, his cheeks burning once again. “I didn’t—”

“You so did.”

“That was not my intention at all,” he retorted. 

“Damn, Hughes, didn’t take you for a phone sex kind of a guy?” 

Luke could only thank some superior being above that it wasn’t a facetime call, that you couldn’t see how bad he was blushing. “I am neither a sexting or phone sex kind of guy.” 

“Boo, it’s more fun than you would think.” 

His nose scrunched up. “I don’t know.” 

“Don’t knock it until you try it, Luke.”

…

Despite being in two very different states, Luke had found himself on the phone with you most nights of the roadie so far.

It wasn’t really a co-dependent thing, like Jack liked to tease him about when he caught Luke waiting for your message saying you were free to call after the game in LA. It was a similar feeling he had with his friends back in Michigan or his brothers, this strong urge to tell you things. He wanted to share it with you, he wanted to tell you about something stupid Jack did in the locker room or the weird drink Curtis smuggled him at dinner. 

And in turn, he wanted to hear about your day too. He wanted to hear about how the nice barista at the coffee shop on the way to work gave you a free cookie because she fucked up your order by accident. He wanted to hear about the way your upstairs neighbour had taken up tap dancing and seemed to only find eleven o’clock at night the most appropriate time to practise. He just wanted to hear you talk. 

Luke was at least self-aware enough to realise he was being a bit insane with the phone calls every night when he was only gone for over a week. But day six into a ten day roadie and he just kind of wished he was chilling on your couch when listening to these stories rather than a nondescript hotel room he shared with his brother with limited privacy. 

However, the phone calls had become such a routine over the last few days that he didn’t even think twice when he picked up his buzzing phone, answering and putting it on speaker as he walked towards his suitcase in only a towel. 

“Hey, I’ve been waiting for your call,” Luke said, an easy smile on his face as he quickly grabbed some clothes to change into after his shower. 

“Really? I didn’t realise you missed me that much. I miss you too, dude.” 

Luke froze, his eyes widening as he snapped his gaze back towards his phone. He quickly grabbed it off his bed, letting out a soft ‘fuck’ when he realised it was Ethan, not you. 

“Luke? You still there?” 

“Uh yeah,” Luke cleared his throat. “Sorry, I just came out of the shower. So, uh, what’s up?” 

“I caught the game, just wanted to make sure you were alright. Looked like a tough game but you were killer out there, bud.” 

He paused, his lips twitching upwards. “You watched the game?”

“Don’t sound so surprised, dude. The boys watch every game we can. Our boy is in the big leagues! We gotta support you.”

“I didn’t know,” he admitted, his chest tightening a little.

“We miss you on the team, gotta get our fix somehow,” Ethan joked, lighthearted and playful. 

And yet, Luke felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Despite flying out for his birthday party, he hadn’t really been messaging the boys back in Michigan as much as he should have. He knew they were also giving him space to settle into the NHL lifestyle and they were busy with classes and such, but his own surprise from Ethan calling confirmed enough that he needed to reach out more. 

“I miss playing with you guys too,” Luke confessed, and it was true. He loved the Devils and he loved living out his dream but a small part of him itched to be back on the ice with his UMich boys again. 

“Yeah but you never threw us around like that.” 

Luke let out a groan, ignoring Ethan’s laughs. “I didn’t mean to knock him over like that, it was just the momentum!” 

Ethan’s laughs only got louder. 

…

It was the night before the Anaheim game when Jack had all but bolted out the room, muttering something about hanging out with Trevor and that he would be back before dinner. 

In all honesty, Luke didn’t question it much. He just waved his brother off, saying he was going to have a small nap before he started getting ready for whatever restaurant Trevor had booked for them (assuring that it would fit their diet plan but Luke wasn’t convinced). Between the travelling and training on the road, Luke found himself more exhausted than he was from back-to-back games in Jersey.

And he genuinely was going to nap until his phone buzzed with a message from you and he found himself dialling your number before he could help himself. 

“A call already? You didn’t even give me a chance to try sexting you.” 

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t see what the point is.” 

“I like hearing you get all flustered and nervous.” 

“Yeah but it’s not really the same thing, is it?” He commented, running a hand through his curls before tugging his hood back over his head. “Surely it’s just a bit…awkward.” 

“It can be hot if you do it right,” you corrected him. “Personally, I think phone sex is better but it can be fun to sext too. Like a thrill, you know?” 

“Yes because nothing sounds sexier than talking about sex,” he mused.

“It’s not like that,” you laughed, shuffling around on the other side of the phone. “Think of it like…foreplay.” 

His brows furrowed together. “In what way?” 

“You aren’t together but you’re telling each other what you would want to do if you were. What you wish you could be doing. And you’re listening to it all, listening to them get off to your words.” 

Luke swallowed harshly. “It still sounds awkward.” 

There was a pause on the other side. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he breathed out, shifting a little in his spot. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to facetime them and see them?” 

“It’s about using your imagination, Luke,” you hummed, sounding amused by his grasp on phone sex. “It’s about taking the scraps of what they tell you and letting your brain run wild with it.” 

He let out an unconvinced hum.

“Still sceptical?”

“Maybe.” 

There was a small pause before you spoke again. “You’re alone, right?” 

“Uh, yeah,” Luke nodded, even if you couldn’t see him. “Jack won’t be back for another few hours so—”

“So you can be a good boy for me?” 

His brain went blank.

“C’mon, Luke.” He could almost hear the smirk in your voice. “Remember what we said about words?”

“Yeah,” he let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, I can be…good.”

“I know you can, you’re always so good f’me,” you commented, so nonchalant and casual like your worlds didn’t make his heart beat a little faster. “Tell me what you’re doing right now.” 

“Uh,” he cleared his throat. “I’m lying in bed, talking to you. But you know that—”

“What are you wearing?” 

Luke glanced down at himself, the Devils branded hoodie and UMich sweatpants hardly the sexiest of outfit choices but he muttered out his response regardless. “Isn’t that the exact line you teased me about earlier?” 

“You telling me you’re wearing something special just for me?” 

He snorted, despite himself. “Hardly.” 

“That’s fine. You look better without anything anyway. A shame you’re all the way in California, would’ve been nice to have you all to myself.”

He gulped. “Is this where I use my imagination to guess what you’d do to me?” 

“If you want,” you said, laughing softly and it almost felt like you were right there beside him. “Or I could tell you how I miss hearing those pretty noises you make when you come, the little moans you let out when I touch you.” 

“Shit,” he muttered. “How do you just say those things so…easily?” 

“Because I know what I like and I’m confident with saying what I want. And I really like making you come, you’re always so sweet. You get so blushy and shy, it’s cute. I could only imagine what you’d be like when I get my mouth on you.”

Luke squirmed, his hand reaching down to press down on the length of his cock like it would ease the way he was twitching at her words. 

“Would you like that, Luke?”

“Y-Yeah,” he breathed out, nodding even if you couldn’t see him.

“Bet you would look so pretty, all shy and nervous to touch me even if you wanted to,” you continued, his eyes fluttering shut like he could pretend you were really in the room with him, like you were really whispering all of this in his ear. “But I would want you to, Luke. I would wanna feel your hands in my hair, wanna see you take control.” 

“I would,” he mumbled out, his hand slowly stroking himself over his sweatpants as he imagined it. As he imagined being sat on your couch, with you kneeling between his legs and your eyes glued on his reactions. It made his whole body feel hot and flustered. 

“Yeah, baby? You’d take control? Fuck my mouth?” 

He was almost embarrassed by the noise he let out.

“Are you touching yourself right now? Letting your imagination fill in the blanks?” 

“Mhm,” he nodded. 

“Good, baby, good. Keep touching yourself, keep making yourself feel good.”

“Wish it was you,” he managed to mutter out, his cock straining under the fabric of his boxers and sweatpants. However, any embarrassment or lingering awkwardness was long gone as he pushed them down to his knees, not even bothered to kick them off as he got his hand on himself. 

“Yeah? Me too, baby. I wish I was with you now, could watch you squirm and beg f’me with your dick down my throat.”

“Fuck,” he hissed, squeezing the base of his cock as he tried to mimic the night of his birthday, to mimic the feeling of your hand on him instead. “That’s…vulgar.”

You laughed, and it shouldn’t have been so hot to him but it was. “Too much? You don’t want me to talk about how badly I wish that it was you touching me right now?”

“You’re touching yourself right now?” It was almost a wheeze, like the air had been knocked out of his lungs and it hadn’t even hit him until that moment that you were in the same position as him. 

“Mhm,” you hummed, all sweet and high-pitched and it reminded him of the noise you made just before you came on his fingers. “If I was more patient, I would’ve got a toy. Would’ve felt way better.” 

“Toy?” He rasped. 

“Jealous?” You teased, unaware of the way Luke turned his head to the side, biting down on his pillow to hold back his groans as he continued to stroke himself. “I’ll show you when you’re back.” 

“Show me on yourself?” 

“I can use them on you too, pretty boy, if you could handle it.” 

“I…could,” he muttered out, listening to the breathy, moany laugh on the other side of the phone.

“We’ll see,” you hummed. “Maybe I’ll send you a video for your next roadie. Keep you occupied while you’re away.”

“Nuh uh,” he bit out, shaking his head. “This. I like this. I like hearing your voice.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he repeated, his stomach twisting as his thumb swiped over the head of his cock and rubbed the small bead of precum along his slit. “S’close.” 

“Come f’me, wanna hear you come.”

It was a bit of a mindfuck if Luke was completely honest with himself. The pleasure running down his spine, leaving his body hot and heavy and just as good as it did when he was with you didn’t make sense to him. Listening to the little breathy moans and whines you let out when he came all over his hand, as he listened to you get yourself off shouldn’t have made his dick twitch so soon. He shouldn’t have been able to make himself come so hard just from some dirty talk from you, and yet he had. 

Though, Luke didn’t have a lot of explanations when it came to the way you made him feel.

“You still there?” 

“Yeah,” he hummed, his eyes still shut as he laid on the bed, practically melting into the sheets beneath him. “Kinda need that nap now.”

You snorted. “You should clean up before you fall asleep.” 

“Five minutes,” he murmured out, a lazy smile on his face as your laugh echoed through the phone.

…

He was rushing to button up his shirt when his phone rang again. 

He was already running late for the reservations Trevor made for dinner (if the constant stream of messages from Jack was telling him anything) and his nap lasted longer than he expected. But he couldn’t bite back his smile as he reached for his phone, his thumb already swiping to answer the call as he rummaged through his suitcase to find his cologne. 

“You’re out of luck if you’re wanting to go for a round two,” Luke mused once the call had connected, an odd wave of confidence in his voice as he spoke. 

“Round two of what?” 

Luke froze, yanking his phone away from his ear to see Quinn’s name on his screen. He let out a muttered ‘what the fuck’ under his breath, an odd sense of deja vu from his phone call with Ethan washing over him before he quickly answered his eldest brother. 

“Uh, nothing,” he laughed off, resisting the urge to yank on his own hair after he had spent the better part of the last fifteen minutes trying to make his curls look presentable. “Just some…exercise challenge thing Jack and I were trying out.” 

“And you think he would call you about it? Aren’t you two together right now?” 

“Yes. No!” Luke shook his head at himself. “No, he’s in Nico’s room right now.” 

“I thought you were getting dinner with Trevor?” 

“Right,” Luke laughed once again, awkward and strained. “We are. He just…had to tell Nico something first. You know Jack! Just…always attached to Nico’s hip.”

There was a moment of silence before Quinn spoke again. “Are you feeling okay?” 

“I feel great, actually! Speaking of, I need to go so I’ll call you later. Okay, great, bye!” 

He slammed the small red button until the call disconnected, throwing his phone down on his bed and letting out a long, deep sigh. He really needed to start looking at his phone before answering calls, it was getting a bit ridiculous. 

Luke finished getting ready, shoving some shoes on and making his way towards the elevator as he began typing out a message before slipping his phone into his pocket, already preparing himself for Jack’s whining about how late he is by the time he reached the lobby.

hockey boy: remind me to give you a personalised ringtone when i’m back in jersey

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[1d1195]

Right Here Extra I

You can read the original story here: Right Here

This is just going to be a collection of little moments between them based on this ask from a sweet anon 💕 Hope you like it

~2.2k words

Warnings: vomiting, sick, nausea, etc. Otherwise it's going to be fluff, fluff, fluff.

“Cause you’re perfect, lovie.”

“I’m far from perfect.”

“Perfect for me,” he shrugged so casually. As if he said it to anyone that was worried about their self-worth.

As if he hadn’t just thawed the last bit of ice that was in her body.

It was her annual physical. She was sure. The cacophony of sniffles that were in the doctor’s waiting room made her feel sick before any of the germs had a moment to really incubate in her system. She wished she had a mask in her purse, or they had offered/mandated it in the waiting room.

Because now she was laying in front of her toilet. A towel that was balled into a pillow and the cold tile her only relief from the flu symptoms that plagued her. She wasn’t sure she called out from work. She thought she did, but if she managed to actually call her boss in between vomiting she would have been genuinely surprised. But she hadn’t had the strength to lift herself off the floor in hours. Only long enough to heave into the toilet before falling back asleep.

It pained her to say it, because she would have died if Harry was to see her this way, but she longed for him. The way he would take care of her, the way he would dote on her. She could imagine his voice so clearly it was like he was actually rubbing her back soothingly.

“S’okay, lovie,” he whispered in her ear. “M’here. M’right here,” the figment of her imagination felt so real, his fingers cool on her clammy, damp skin. “Poor baby,” he murmured. She moaned softly, her stomach clenching and cramping even though there was long since anything to expel from her stomach.

The figment was nice. Like an imaginary oasis that she saw on TV shows when she was little. It let her drift to sleep.

After she managed to throw up again.

*

The tile was warm and soft now. The air smelled of eucalyptus and menthol. She groaned quietly. The pain in her stomach had stopped completely. In fact, she swore she was feeling hungry. Carefully she got out of bed taking slow steps because she felt weak and exhausted. There was no concept of time that she had spent while asleep.

She opened the fridge to get her water pitcher. “Kitten?” Harry’s voice asked, startling her so badly she dropped the pitched cracking and spilling it on the floor.

“Harry!” Her socks started to get wet. He grabbed her by the waist as gently as he could, mindful she wasn’t feeling well and didn't want to upset her stomach anymore than it already was. He lifted her as if she weighed as much as penny and settled her gently on the counter. “What are you doing here?” She grumbled feeling self-conscious. Her hair was off her face, pulled into a twist to the side of her head.

“Y’didn’t come t’work,” he bent to the floor with paper towels cleaning up the water.

“I have the flu or a stomach bug.”

“I know."

Her head was still pretty achy—maybe the hunger was doing her in but regardless Harry’s laissez-faire attitude about him being there was not helping. “What do you mean ‘you know’?”

“Y’didn’t come t’work,” he repeated. “I called you ‘bout ten times t’make sure you were okay,” he explained. “I was so worried, lovie. Then I saw y’on the floor—”

Her stomach rolled again—this time with uneasiness and embarrassment. “No you didn’t,” she whispered and covered her face. Harry didn’t understand her reaction. He tossed the paper towels in the trash and put the broken pitcher in the sink.

“S’matter, beautiful?”

“You saw me?” She croaked.

“Well—”

“Oh my God,” she groaned.

“Lovie, y’had me worried half t’death,” he repeated. “Why are you—”

“I am so disgusting and I can’t imagine—”

“Oh, for God’s sake,” he rolled his eyes and put his hands on her thighs. “Y’were sick. Nonetheless y’were still beautiful. Even sprawled on the bathroom floor...not that it even matters, lovie... I wish y’called me. I would have been over sooner,” he frowned.

Part of her believed him. That figment wasn’t her imagination after all. Harry really did come and take care of her and dote on her. Even though she didn’t call him, he still showed up. Her heart felt all kinds of confused because she was so embarrassed. Her hair was a wreck, and she was almost certain she smelled faintly of vomit. It was not a good day. “I thought I dreamt that you were here,” she mumbled.

“Yeah? S’that a good thing?” His smile had a smug quality to it. Like he was glad she missed him even if he was a bit distraught with worry over her.

She nodded. “I think I look terrible, but... I... I wanted you to take care of me,” she admitted. “That’s really hard for me to say out loud,” she added. But she didn’t need to. Harry already knew that.

“I know,” he assured her and cupped her face. His hand felt cool compared to her still damp skin. “Y’don’t look terrible. Y’look so much better than y’did when I found y’on the floor. Scared me half t’death,” he repeated, skimming the back of his hand along her face. He pouted ever so slightly. “Wish y’texted me, lovie. I was worried something happened t’you.”

“I didn’t want you to get sick,” she frowned. “You’re probably going to now,” she reminded him.

“No... I went to the company flu shot clinic like a good employee,” he joked.

She rolled her eyes. “Some of us had a budget meeting that paid for you to get that flu shot.”

“You’re mean when you’re sick,” he chuckled. Sighing, she pressed her face to the front of his shoulder.

“I smell like throw up, don’t I?” She mumbled.

He nodded against her. “S’okay. S’important part of the relationship.”

“To smell like throw up around you and look like I laid on the bathroom floor for a day?”

“In sickness and in health, lovie,” he shrugged. Her heart skipped a beat. Did he know how intense that sounded? Did he care that he was giving her a slight arrhythmia? That was a vow for people who got married and lived the rest of their lives together. They’d only been together a handful of months. He couldn’t possibly love her that much already. “Go shower, m’gonna make y’some soup.”

He paid no mind to her silent, internal spinning. She felt overwhelmed with love for him. It made her stomach ache all over again. A flutter that made her wonder if she had a stomach bug at all or if it was just the feeling of love for Harry with no place else to go.

As soon as she felt well enough to stand on her own for longer than ten minutes, she was going to kiss Harry until he couldn’t breathe and make him feel like he had the flu.

*

Harry thought if it was any colder her toes were going to fall off. The fireplace was on the maximum, full heat. He wondered why on earth she decided to walk to his apartment. “It was a ten-minute walk, Harry,” she rolled her eyes.

“I would have come get you, lovie,” he grumbled. Her stubbornness would never cease to amaze him. Her tenacity was one of his most favorite qualities she possessed. But the softness she allowed—like when he cared for her while she wasn’t feeling well—or right now, when her body was warming under the blankets, was when he swore he knew everything about her. Everything. It didn’t matter than she kept things from him. Little things or big. In the soft moments he knew her. When her guard went down he knew every inch of her. Every fiber of her.

He adored her.

“That would have been unnecessary.”

“It’s freezing outside, lovie. Y’could’ve gotten frostbite.”

She shrugged. “I didn’t want my car to get stuck here. This made more sense.”

Harry frowned and came out to her in the living room. Leaving the cookies on the sheet on top of the pre-heating oven. “Y’don’t want t’be stuck here?” He sat beside her freezing figure even though she was snuggled under three blankets. Harry made sure her face didn’t get accidentally covered and that she had movement of her arms as well.

“No, I want to be stuck here. I don’t want my car to be stuck here.”

His frown morphed into a grin. He tucked his face into the curve of her neck and shoulder. Feeling for if she tensed because he pressed to close to her or not. “I hope we’re trapped for days,” he murmured.

She smiled and turned her face to his and stole a kiss swiftly and sweetly. As cold as her lips were, Harry thought there was nothing on earth as warm as her kisses. His whole body reacted to the gesture. Part of him thought he was frostbitten—the way his fingers and toes tingled. All she did was brush her lips on his and it felt like heaven. Better than heaven.

“I love you,” she whispered. He stopped, pulled away and looked at her for several seconds. Harry willed his mouth to move but he couldn’t. The shock was so great. The feeling and excitement so immense he was speechless. “Oh,” she pulled her arms from the blankets. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t what I was—” she cleared her throat, completely embarrassed. Of course he didn’t love her. She was insane. She hated him for the better part of two decades. Why would that suddenly be fixed with a proclamation of love? “Please...just forget I said that,” she stood and paced away from him nerves plaguing her and now being trapped here seemed like a horrific idea.

“Whoa, lovie...stop,” he finally stood up and grabbed her hand. She refused to look at him. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingertips. “S’jus’... y’caught me off guard,” he admitted with a shy smile.

“Well, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it.”

He frowned. “Why’s that?”

“You obviously realized that me hating you for twenty years was not what you wanted in a relationship,” she looked at her fingers. “A claustrophobic baby is not what you want in a girlfriend and you definitely—”

“You didn’t hate me,” he smiled mischievously. Like it was a secret that only he knew. Maybe he did. Because there was no way she hated him all that time if she was suddenly in love with him now. Right?

“I guess not, but you obviously don’t feel the same way,” she refused to make eye contact with him and which made Harry unbelievably happy despite the fact she was so uneasy. As much as he hated to make her uncomfortable, something like this: an innocently mocking moment and still very sweet was one of his favorite past times. Like all the whispers he created at work.

“Kitten,” he chuckled. “I can’t believe y’said it before me,” his smile was so sweet. The kind of smile that made her chest hurt. The one that made her fall so hard for him—especially while they were away on business together. “I love you to pieces, beautiful,” he promised. “I jus’ never thought y’would say it before me,” he cupped her cheek and kissed her softly on the lips. All of her muscles relaxed, making Harry smile. “Y’thought I didn’t love you?”

“I don’t know why you would,” she murmured.

Her body was still chilled from the wintry air and he wanted nothing more than to rip her clothes off and make her warm in front of the fire in the most primal way. But she felt so perfect in his arms. It was indescribable. He didn’t want to move. He considered quitting his job and quitting her job on her behalf just so he never had to leave that spot.

She loved him. She said she loved him. “Cause you’re perfect, lovie.”

“I’m far from perfect.”

“Perfect for me,” he shrugged so casually. As if he said it to anyone that was worried about their self-worth.

As if he hadn’t just thawed the last bit of ice that was in her body.

Harry always sensed that she held back just the tiniest bit since they started dating, officially. It was the reason she was so obstinate with him. Never letting him fluster her at work in front of their colleagues, why she refused to move in (although he supposed asking her to move in on the first day of their real relationship was too much), and how there was always the littlest moment of hesitation whenever he complimented her—like she didn’t fully believe it.

All of that melted as much as the iciness of the outside air melted from her in his apartment. He watched the hesitation disappear in her eyes and he swore her body released the tension she had wound around her. Over twenty years of tension finally released from her muscles. Harry was surprised she didn’t collapse. “You really love me?” She whispered.

He nodded. “Course, lovie,” he smiled and kissed her forehead, melting her further. "Always have."

--

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[stargalaxxy]

˚♡˚𖥔˖Insecure!Lloyd x Reader

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅ Lloyd has me in a chokehold I SWEAR I CAN WRITE FOR OTHER CHARACTE- (๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧ I think I'm gonna try for a Zane fic but oml I have so many scenarios running through my head with Lloyd I'm not even joking ૮꒰ྀི⸝⸝> . <⸝⸝꒱ྀིა But on frfr this takes place after the movie Lloyd is still hated but that oki bcs we love himmm ( ˶˘ ³˘(ˊᗜˋ*)!♡ Garmadon comes for dinner bcs I want them to be a big happy family!!o( ˶^▾^˶ )o ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

˚𝜗𝜚��⋆Now Playing: Dark Red by, Steve Lacy｡☆

✧˖°Imagine…✧˖°

  Insecure Lloyd is tired of being the hated boy in public eye, both in school and in Ninjago media. He has his team helping him and his sensei to calm his mind, as well as loving mother and somewhat now supportive overlord father that tries his best. But the stares of hatred that he gets, his extra mile of politeness that he forces out to not have people hate him more. The roll of eyes and groans he gets when he walks by a group of kids at school, and the constant berate that his friends get for being associated with him is unbearable.

  Insecure Lloyd, trying to find some light at the end of his tunnel. He should be grateful that he has a handful of friends or a loving mother, father, and uncle who are there to support him. But whenever he feels an ounce of happiness, just turning on the tv or phone to check social media instantly pummels his mood. Seeing videos of him sitting by himself at lunch and people making fun of him. Or being painted as a villain when he finally sticks up for himself from Chen, or just constant name calling from peers on school newsletters.

Insecure Lloyd just wants peace, a day that people like him, or even see him as the normal joe and show him a bit of stranger etiquette. He comes home drained shuffling to his room mumbling a hello to his mom and a nod to his father, that comes home for dinner. Laying his bag on the floor and falling face first into his pillow hoping the bad day would sink into his bed. Sometimes he wishes that he could do the same. Just sink in and never come out, but he knows that people don’t hate him for everything he does.

Insecure Lloyd finds peace when he’s out on patrol with his team doing ninja duties, hearing people excitedly look up at him as he beats up the next big villain brings purpose to his dark world. Seeing people post about his good deeds on social media is what makes him come back on the app. 

Seeing people idolize the Green Ninja gave insecure Lloyd the reason to get out of bed and deal with the people out in Ninjago city. 

Until he meets you,

You’re a transfer student from an all-girls boarding school. Used to living in a village in Jamanakai you weren’t used to a big city. It was overwhelming when students your age would come up to talk to you asking what it was like being in an all-girl school or to live in a small village. 

You spoke nervously as you tried to answer everyone in your class, the teacher seemed to notice and gives the grace of saving you. 

“Settle down class, I know a new student is exciting, so how about we show her around? For the first hour we have a free period. Do I have a volunteer to show our new friend around?” hands come flying up causing you to jump back. “Well, it seems we have plenty of volunteers~” your teacher sings as she smiles to you, “why don’t you pick, dear?” she pats your shoulder as she heads to her desk.

Oh geez,

You nervously scan the class as you didn’t want to upset or offend anyone with your picking. “Uh-um…” your eyes land randomly on a boy wearing a green hoodie staring out the window in the back of the class. You start walking up to him not seeming to have his attention yet as Lloyd didn’t expect anyone to approach him. 

“Uh-um, hi, can you show me around?” the class audibly gasp as even the teacher drops her coffee, you look around bewildered as Lloyd finally shoots up at the sudden shift in atmosphere.

Finally realizing you he looks around and points to himself unsure, “me?” you take a moment then nod your head assuring his uncertainty. Lloyd quickly gets up almost knocking down his chair, he curses nervously feeling he’s already making a bad impression. But when he looks up from steadying his chair, he sees your smile and a small chuckle that you try and hide behind your hand. 

It wasn’t a mocking laugh, or a pity smile, or fake! It was genuine, it made his cheeks warm and heart flutter. Puppy love visible in his eyes as he smiles at you as well nervously, when he finally gathers himself and walks out the classroom with you.

He shows you around the school and different rooms. It’s clubs and after school activities, at times Lloyd has to stop himself from taking second glances at you just to see your pretty smile, he’s never felt like this with anyone. 

You’re the first person to show him genuine kindness, sure you didn’t know him for who he was and relationship to his father. But that didn’t matter to him he just wants to talk to you more, so he boldly asks for your schedule, you smile as you hand it to him, peaking over his shoulder to see him scan your classes and lunch periods. His heart was gonna jump from his chest if you keep pressing against him.

“Oh, we have the same lunch!” he spoke a bit too excitedly as he shuts his mouth, you giggle, “really! That’s cool! Maybe we can talk some more during lunch!” it felt more like a question as you weren’t sure if Lloyd would be up for more of you. As you did choose him when he didn’t volunteer so you were hoping you weren’t getting on his nerves.

“Y-yea! I-I mean sure I don’t mind, sounds cool” he gives finger guns as starts walking backwards giving a nervous smile, when he turns around to stop facing you, he face palms himself. “That sounds great!” you follow him back to class noticing as free period was about to end, “Hey what’s your name?” you tilt your head to look at Lloyd’s blushing face as he finally lifts his head to face you. “I-It’s Lloyd” he plays with his hoodies string absentmindedly as he looks away from the corner of his eyes, you nod as you play with his name on your tongue.

“Okay, Lloyd! My names (y/n) let’s be friends!” smiling you walk beside him to class in comfortable silence. Lloyd however was racing thoughts in his head, a friend, he has a new friend! His smile gets bigger as he happily walks with a pep in his step alongside you. 

He never wants this feeling to go away!

You two spend more and more of your time together, both inside and outside of school. Lloyd is surprised at the fact of how you still don’t know about his reputation of being an overlord son.

You guys have been hanging out for a few months and nothing, the odd glares and flash of media that goes over your head you don’t ever notice. Or do you just not care?

Whatever it is Lloyd wants to keep it that way, 

“Hey, (y/n)! do you want to go and get some coffee?” Lloyd suggests as he stands by your locker. The school day had ended early for the beginning of spring break, “yea, I’m dying for something sweet~” you hum as you shut your locker having the last of your belongings before heading out with Lloyd.

“Mmm, but what about your friends? Don’t you have plans with them?” you met Lloyd’s friends the same week you met Lloyd, he introduced you to them and you all got attached to each other. 

“Oh, I’ll meet with them later” he shrugs and continues, you smile and grab your phone. “Okay, well my mom is asking for me, but it’ll totally be quick, I can message you when I’m done, and we can head to the café!” you hold out your phone showing your contact. It took Lloyd a moment to register what you said until he connects the dots, “y-you want my number?” he stutters out in disbelief his heart once again coming back to life.

“Yea! I-is that okay?” you nervously retract your phone in fear of overstepping, but in lightning speed Lloyd pulls out his phone and lets it scan your contact instantly putting in your number and information. 

You laugh as you both continue to walk,” Okay, Lloyd, I’ll see you then!” you hop onto your bus as you wave to him at the window. Lloyd looks down to his phone seeing your photo and number his cheeks grow red as he turns around a beat of excitement rushes through his body as he jumps.

Not caring if people stared or grumbled at Lloyd’s happiness, he could care less. Because now he had the girl of his dreams number!

After exchanging numbers, you and Lloyd would text nonstop, either about comics and manga, or new anime. Video games that were coming out, and new movies to see, it would go on to late at night to the morning before you guys would make plans to meet each other. He was constantly glued to his phone when you guys were a part,

“Uhp, there he goes again..” Jay teases as his team watches Lloyd take down a bad guy and sends a quick text to you,

“What, It’s my mom!” Lloyd shouts as he dodges another attack.  “Oh, yea when my mom calls, I send kissy faces to her~” Kai puckers his lips under his masks making kissing noises as the team laughs through the coms, Lloyd groans and rolls his eyes as they finally take down the last guy. 

“But seriously Lloyd, you’ve been getting distracted” Nya pops up behind him making Lloyd jump at her sudden appearance before sighing in defeat.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to bring you guys down.” Lloyd apologizes as his team comes around, “No way man, It’s awesome!” Kai shouts as he runs over to Lloyd as well, “seeing you happy and not mopey is great!” Kai continues as the team nods, “Yes, I as well have noticed your increase in mood Lloyd.” Zane drags the bad guys together as Cole ties them up nodding along silently. 

Lloyd blushes under his mask as he thanks the FSM that his friends can’t see, “so, who is she~” Kai slides up beside him as he wraps an arm around Lloyd who huffs a smile at his friends teasing. 

“No one just someone I met.” Lloyd tries to play it off as if they didn’t know who Lloyd spends majority of his time with.

“It is (y/n)” Zane interjects as if solving the riddle, Lloyd groans as his team giggles and ooo’s fall from their mouths. “haha! Yes!” Kai hops happily as they walk out from the alley to drop off the bad guys at the police station, “I knew it!” Nya adds on to her brother’s excitement as Jay smiles and Cole laughs. 

“How’d you know?” Lloyd jumps along the roofs with his team, “it’s not hard to piece you guys together, I mean c’mon man” Kai looks back as he grabs onto a pole to sit on dangling his legs.

He then flips back to see Lloyd who was upside down, “You two are always together” Kai grins as Lloyd pushes past him Kai pulls himself up as he continues. 

“You guys are so cute~” Jay coos as he too joins in on the teasing making Lloyd roll his eyes,  “Alright I get it, I suck at hiding my feelings” Lloyd huffs as they finally reach the police station and drop the criminals on an unsuspecting cop. He jumps in surprise until he looks up seeing the ninja turn back to the monastery,

“Suck at it? Dude your terrible!” Cole finally speaks as the team laughs at his joke, “ahhaha, you guys are hilarious” Lloyd grumbles as they finally take a break when they got far enough from the city.

Kai grips Lloyd’s shoulder removing his mask, “when are you gonna confess?” Kai had on a smirk not seeing Lloyd’s face drop under his mask and heart sinking. 

“Wh-what, no. no way, I can’t confess! She’ll hate me and she doesn’t even know who I am” Jay stops Lloyd’s ramble with his own shock, “she doesn’t know you’re a ninja!” Cole then comes beside him and smacks his head. “No dummy, Lloyd being Garmadons son.” Jay rubs his head from the heavy hit as Lloyd looks back, “well that too,” Jay sticks out his tongue at Cole as the earth ninja raises his fist to hit him again.

“No way, she’s totally into you, you guys are like attached to the hip” Kai wraps his arm around Lloyd taking off his mask finally seeing Lloyd’s emotions,

“But what if she doesn’t!” his anxiety was at its peak thinking about you rejecting him as he’d be losing you as not a lover but as a friend.

Kai looks away to try and find the right words landing on Nya who looked just as lost as he was. “Well, Nya you hang out with (y/n) all the time in science. What does she say about Lloyd” Nya hums in a hiding tone, “sorry that’s classified girl talk, I’d be tarnished as a woman to share (y/n) secrets” Kai huffs as he walks to Nya, “couldn’t tell, your more manly than me~” Kai teases being an older brother again as Nya laughs with him then splashes his face with water with an unamused expression.

Lloyd looks to the ground as Zane shuffles his way into the chaos, “what do you think Zane, do I have any chance with (y/n)?” Lloyd asks as a last-ditch effort. He watches Zane’s eyes glow and his body convulsing as it finds an answer to Lloyd’s question. 

“Calculating…” after a short second a ‘ding!’ sounds off, stating that Zane was done calculating. A piece of paper files from Zane’s mouth as the ninja gather around Lloyd. 

99%

“Hey that’s great!” Kai shouts as Jay and Cole pat Lloyd’s shoulder in congratulations, “What’s wrong Lloyd?” Nya tilts her head as she noticed Lloyd wasn’t as happy as the rest were. 

“It’s ninety nine percent.” Lloyd states as facts, “yea, perfect chance to me” Kai smiles as Nya shushes him letting Lloyd talk,

“That one percent, anything can happen in that one percent of me confessing to (y/n)” Zane nods as he interjects, “Lloyd is correct, (y/n) can find many reasons to not share intimate feelings with you, she could find out your relation to Garmadon, she could have a hatred for ninja. Or she could be attracted to the same sex.” “Hey Zane?” 

“Yes Nya-“ 

“Not helping.” 

Nya quickly shuts Zane up as they notice Lloyds defeated look, “Lloyd of course anything can happen, but you gotta look at the positive. There are plenty of reason why she could accept your confession!” his team nods,

“you’re both reader dorks!”

“She talks nonstop about you!”

“You both are together all the time.”

“You both are very cute together.”

“Calculations do not lie, Lloyd.” 

He looks up to his friends as he finally breaks for a small smile, “thanks guys, I guess, I just feel like. I finally have someone that I like outside of friends and family, it feels different when I look at them. I want to be by their side, and I want them to feel the same way that I do. I just don’t want to lose the only outside support that I truly have with her.” Lloyd’s friends start to hug him, “aww buddy” Jay squishes himself into the hug as Zane even joins in hearing the groans and heaves from his tight hold.

“But thanks, you guys. I really appreciate the words.” Lloyd huffs out as he was caught in the middle of a group hug. His friends laugh at his struggle as they finally loosen up, “no problem, man!” Kai pats his shoulder with a grin as Cole nods, “yea, we’re here for you!” “Always Lloyd.” Nya smiles kindly as Jay nods.

“Alright let’s head back before sensei gives us chores to do for being late.” Kai starts walking as the group follows,

“I’m hungry” Jay huffs at Cole, “You’re always hungry!”

Later that night Lloyd continues to text you when he got home, when he sits for dinner, his dad was with him. Garmadon coming home for dinner wasn’t new, after settling some things Koko felt comfortable enough to let him back into their lives. If he promises to not try and take over the city,

They negotiated once month takeover attempts.

Lloyd takes one last glance at his phone as he swoons seeing the last text of the night from you,

“’Goodnight! : )’”

Of course it wasn’t much to the average person, but every time Lloyd saw your good morning texts or goodnight texts. He’d feel so happy that you would take the time to wish him a good night.

It was obvious to Garmadon that his son was in his own space calling it la la land to Koko thinking his son was possessed when he would come home with a huge smile. But his ex-lover would only shake her head and grin at him and state he was in love, 

Garmadon squints his eyes at his son who was mixing his food with that same smile on his face.

He was glad that his son was happy, he just didn’t know how to communicate with him that was appropriate. Being out of the loop as a father for seventeen years has had him catching up on some things.

Garmadon whines to Koko stating his son wasn’t cool anymore going on as now all he wants to do is be on his phone, Koko puts a hand on her hip as she watches the feared overlord pout under her as he laid on the tile floor.

“You should talk to him then, get to know the girl he’s talking to and give advice, y’know like how a dad would.” Koko turns to cut vegetables for dinner as Garmadon hums as if pondering on Koko’s foreign words. He instantly gets up as if have a eureka moment. 

“Hmm, Yea, I’ll give him advice!” Koko hums as Garmadon looks for something else to do, she finally snaps from her trance, “w-wait, Garmadon no you suck at advice!” 

But too late, his mind was set as when Lloyd came home from patrol he would talk to him during dinner,

And here they were. Lloyd in front of Garmadon still playing with his food, Garmadon clears his throat causing Lloyd to look up arching a brow over his cowlick. 

“So, your mother has told me you’re interested in someone.” His bottom hands fold together as if having an important meeting with one of his generals, Lloyd groans, “ugh, mom dad’s bothering me!” Lloyd calls as Garmadon stands over the table in shock, “wha- nu-uh!” Lloyd squints at his father as he sinks into his chair as if to get away from an embarrassing conversation.

“Garmadon, don’t make me get the broom.” Koko calls from the kitchen, “Wha-but I didn’t do! He-“ Garmadon huffs as he flops back down on his chair giving up as he looks to his son again who was now eating quickly.

“I just notice how…happy you seem, that’s all” Lloyd stops shoveling food in his mouth as he swallows, taking in his father’s words, seeing Lloyd stops Garmadon takes the chance to continue. “I…enjoy it when I see you happy, I hope you continue to feel this way.” Garmadon peaks to see Lloyd’s smile. Lloyd knew his dad was trying to make up for lost years, and every effort he made caused Lloyd to want to be near him. 

“Thanks dad” Garmadon takes a moment to process as a smile grows on the overlords’ lips, it was a toothy happy smile. The genuine enjoyment of his son thanking him and calling him dad.

“y-you’re welcome…son” Garmadon looks down at his plate as he scratches the table his smile still big.

There was a comfortable silence between the two, the only noises were the scrapes of Lloyd’s fork on his plate. 

“So, was that her texting?” Garmadon breaks it with more questions Lloyd sighs “yea, it was… she texted me ‘goodnight’” there was that la la land smile again as Garmadon hummed as if thinking of something that was upsetting him. He wanted to keep the comment to himself, but it slipped out,

“hm, probably to text other guys.” He mumbles out sassily,

And down went Lloyd’s mood plummeting, Koko wasn’t far as an audible gasp sounded from the kitchen fueling Lloyd’s sudden appropriate change of mood.

“Garmadon! Why did you say that you idiot!” Koko instantly got her spatula and smacked the back of Garmadon’s head. 

“Ack! What it’s true! It’s 7:30pm what person goes to bed at this hour?” Garmadon rubs his head as he squints at Koko, 

“People that have lives and don’t spend all night scheming to take over a CITY!!” Koko screeches her frustrations at her idiotic ex-husband as Lloyd slips under the table hearing another thwack and a groan from the overlord.

Later that night Lloyd sat in his room staring down at his phone, the ‘goodnight’ stared right back at him.

He sighs as he turns over, staring up at his ceiling, he drags his hands down his face with a groan thinking back on his dad’s words. He really had no filter, knowing this Lloyd probably should’ve expected something like that to fly out his mouth.

But damn did it hit hard.

Were you really texting other people?

He wouldn’t blame you if you were though, Lloyd thought about so many reasons as to why you would.

He could be boring you,

Annoying you, 

You might’ve wanted to talk to someone that didn’t have red eyes,

Or sharp teeth or was the son of an overlord.

Insecure Lloyd being insecure again. He forces his hands down as a tired sigh escapes his lips again as he rolls over one last time to go to sleep. 

Closing his eyes, he thinks of anything that would be better than this, anything that will take his mind off his constant worrying and sinking pit feelings.

Or the anticipation in his heart for you to text him again. But those were only thoughts, so he decides to sleep to continue his bullishness thoughts-

‘briing’ ‘briing’

Lloyd’s eyes shot up as he lifts his body up to search for his phone that was under the covers, looking down at it he sees your contact. He pauses for a moment as he ruffles his hair squinting at his phone as if the bright light was lying to him about who was calling. 

He clears his throat, he has never spoken to you on the phone before, but he knew his phone was ringing a bit too long so instead of worrying he slides the green dial and answers the phone.

“…Hello?”

“h-hey, Lloyd” it’s like Lloyd could hear your smile, as in turn he as well, the dark clouds disperse as he lays back down.

“Hey.” He couldn’t say anything else but a greeting, so happy that you called him, you giggle on the other line sending him soaring to cloud nine. 

“’m sorry for calling you, I didn’t know who else to call.” Lloyd could hear something moving in the background, were you now getting into bed?

“No no, it’s fine. I thought you were going to bed?” he inhales deeply as he turns over putting his phone on speaker, but still low enough so it didn’t wake his mom who was next door.

“I was, but I couldn’t” it was too vague for Lloyd to understand,

“What?” he asks as he hears a soft sigh fall from the other line, once again he hears fiddling in the background. Were you nervous about something?

“(y/n), is everything okay?” Lloyd asks unsure if he should be worried about your sudden call.

“n-no! everything is fine. I’m sorry, I’m just being stupid” you laugh softly, 

“Don’t say that, you’re not stupid, at least, you can’t be more stupid than me~” he jokes as you both quietly laugh.

Your laughter dies down, “…you’re smart too, especially in history” Lloyd’s face turns pinks as he hums. “You’re not bad at science” he compliments as well, 

You huff, “I tryy” you whine as Lloyd chuckles. “So, why did you call me again?” there was a pause on the other end.

It was long to where Lloyd thought you had hung up,

“I just, really wanted to hear your voice.”

It was simple, your voice quiet to where if Lloyd hadn’t paid attention, he would’ve missed it. But he heard it, and so did his heart. 

“Oh.” Was all he could say, his face red and heart stuttering, butterflies running wild and head spinning. 

“S-sorry, I don’t sleep well by myself, I used to call my friend, but she isn’t available. S-so I thought, maybe you’d be up. I just really wanna talk to someone, I don’t want to be alone.”

Like a river it came flowing down, your face completely red as you squeaked out each word. Wishing that Lloyd had that on recording just so he could hear each word repeated.

“Oki, let’s talk” Lloyd spoke so calmly as if his face wasn’t about to explode if you said anything else his heart might explode with it. 

“Oki” your smile grows bigger, “how is your night?” you ask starting conversation, Lloyd grins,

“It’s better now that you called.”

You guys have been talking for hours, mainly Lloyd leading with things that he likes, it got deeper as you both spoke about fears. Even Lloyd shed some light to his insecurities, it made him feel better to confide in someone to talk about what he worries about and for them to do the same. It was as if you two were taking each other’s garbage and throwing it out together, soon Lloyd is quiet for a little bit a comfortable silence hits the both of you. 

It was going on for a while as Lloyd assumed you went to sleep, your phone then hangs up. Lloyd had heard feet walking into your room and an older women’s voice presuming to be your mom stating how you must have fallen asleep on the phone.

Lloyd smiles down at his phone as he too closes his eyes, warm and fluffy feelings enter his chest. Falling asleep he decides to call you tomorrow morning to wish you a good morning text this time.

AAAA I finisheddd hehehe ( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ oki but frfr I hope you guys enjoyed I love seeing you guys like my other posts like it said it really motivates me to continue ᯓᡣ𐭩 ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ Love, ⋆˚࿔ Karrots 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Yearning

Pairing: Captain John Price x f!reader

Warnings: tiny bit of angst, suggestive themes (mdni 18+), slight bickering but it's okay

Synopsis: You're waiting for something to start...

Duty Over Heart masterlist

Two days had passed since your leave had unexpectedly ended and like clockwork, you hardly saw Price. He stayed in his office, trying to get the work done while waiting for any intel from the phone to show up. Most of the paperwork could wait, the higher ups and Laswell didn’t need it immediately, but you knew that once he started he didn’t stop.

The only times you saw him were in the halls and at night just before bed. You rarely ever saw him at meal times, which made you more upset because you knew he wasn’t eating.

You wanted to say you were used to it but after spending a week with him almost constantly around you, you were a little lonely. Those late nights you spent together, all of the time you both spent together preparing for your anniversary and for any dates in between, the fact that you two weren’t far from each other inside the house. It almost bordered on too much but neither of you could help it, that was just how it was the first week you both were put on leave. The energy would relax eventually which would make it easier to go back to work but since that time was cut short, you weren’t ready.

You didn’t want to admit that you were still being clingy so you told yourself that eventually it’ll let up and eventually you’ll be okay with the minimal contact with Price.

However, as you watched the clock tick closer towards the end of dinner without him in sight, a pit formed in your stomach.

“How come we never get invited to your flat, Doc?” Gaz brought you out of your thoughts and you raised an eyebrow. “You’ve lived here for a while now.”

“Because I see you enough as it is.” You teased and he rolled his eyes. “My apartment is way too small for any social gatherings.”

“You could always invite one of us over.”

“Okay, pick who goes first.”

You hid your smile behind your cup when Gaz and Soap began a petty argument over who would go first when you knew that neither would relent. The subject would eventually be dropped and you wouldn’t have to worry about them asking again until the next time you go on leave. It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last but you had become an expert at deflecting their wishes to visit.

You were incredibly lucky that they didn’t ask to visit Price, opting to instead go out for drinks, otherwise you knew that Price would have a hard time explaining why he had tampons in his bathroom.

You glanced at the clock. Ten minutes until the kitchen closed and he was nowhere to be seen. 

You hid your frown by eating. It would be a miracle if you didn’t both chew him out and cling to him when you saw him later tonight in your room. 

“How much longer until Laswell finds something?” Dinnae ken how many times I can lift before my muscles fail.” Soap sighed and you shrugged, understanding his slight frustration.

It was taking a long time to find anything from the phone. Usually it only took a couple hours before you all were back in the field when it came to cracking open a phone. You couldn’t imagine it would have that much protection on it when it seemed like a completely ordinary weapons deal. 

Maybe that was contributing to the way you were feeling. Everyone was antsy to get back in the field after a small bust. Most of the time there was more action, another terrorist to catch or something leading to another bust before you were grounded back at base. Now it felt like a waiting game.

You couldn’t help but wonder if Price was feeling the same and if that was why he had locked himself in office.

“Lay off the weights and watch TV or something, you’ll be too sore to work.” You chided Soap and he scoffed.

“Two days in and Doc is back to being the medic. New record.” He teased and you shot him a look that made the table snicker. ��You gonna make us do physicals?”

“Maybe I should, it’ll give us something to do.”

He groaned and Gaz shook his head. While the idea of physicals was something to do, you weren’t too bored yet of helping the head medic of the base sort files and check on the other soldiers just yet. It was always hard stopping the adrenaline once it started but you wanted to get back in the field before it disappeared. 

You could use it as an excuse to see Price, one that would ward off any suspicions that the others may get. 

You looked up at the clock and the kitchen closed. You stood up, more than ready to see him before you nodded to the boys.

“I’ll ask John if he’s heard anything.” You said and smiled. “Maybe I’ll mention you’re bored while I’m at it.”

“Ah! No, don’t do that, he'll make me train the rookies.” Soap pleaded and you laughed as you walked out of the mess hall. “I mean it!”

You tried to hide your excitement so no one would ask you questions but you practically ran down the hall towards his office. You were ready to see him even if it would only be a quick visit. It would at least be longer than right before bed.

You knocked on Price’s door and didn’t even wait for him to call you in before you opened the door.

“Doc.” He smiled up at you from his desk which was covered in papers and his laptop.

“You missed dinner.” You closed the door behind you and he gave you a confused look.

“It’s only four.”

He looked down at his watch and frowned, which made you raise an eyebrow as you watched his eyes harden.

“How are you of all people this bad at time management?” You wondered.

He was the most timely when it came to literally everything else when he wasn’t filling out paperwork. The man praised his “violence and timing” and yet time seemed to slip past him when he was stuck at a desk doing the work he hated.

“I’m good when it matters.” He said and you made a disapproving noise that made him shoot you a look. “You know what I mean, I’ll grab something later.”

You huffed, willing to let it go but he paused.

Price studied your face intently. You watched his eyes bounce around and you raised an eyebrow before a frown pulled at his face. He nodded towards the door and you understood immediately.

You locked the door and when you turned around he had already pulled a chair up beside him. You didn’t hesitate to sit next to him and didn’t protest when he grabbed your legs to put them on his lap. 

“Did you finish?” You gestured to his desk despite the fact that he looked swamped with work.

“Was close to it but they sent me documents to read.” He grumbled and you frowned.

You knew that the reason why he got so much of the busy work was that he and Laswell split it apart to get through it quicker. It was the red tape that unfortunately had to be put around the task force for it to even be made, though there were many rules the force didn’t even have to worry about considering what it was made for, and Price had offered to help.

But you still couldn’t help but think that the higher ups gave the amount of paperwork they did for a spiteful reason.

It wasn’t exactly a secret that Price had a habit of insubordination and speaking out against anyone above him, in fact it was something that massively turned you on, so you wouldn’t be surprised if this was a way to get back at him. Regardless however, you thought it was ironic that they relied on him to get the job done on the field and yet bogged him down with documents and files that took up more of his time. 

It worried you too. He hid his stress well but you knew that it would soon chip away at his resolve if it continued. 

Which only made you feel worse about your predicament. 

“It’ll still be here tomorrow.” You said and he raised an eyebrow. “You do realize that they’re slow with processing these regardless of how fast you get them in.”

“Yeah, but I’d rather get it done in a day.”

You nearly laughed considering it had been two days and he wasn’t close to being finished. Instead you leaned back in your chair and watched him place a hand on your shin.

“I’ll finish tonight.” He said and this time you couldn’t stop the scoff that escaped your lips.

“You always say that but you never do.” You pointed out and he shot you a look.

“I will.”

“Uh-huh.”

Price rolled his eyes and you copied him before he gave you a tentative squeeze that made you both smile. He got more comfortable in his chair but went back to work, leaving the room in silence. 

You watched him for a moment before you glanced at his watch and your face fell.

You had already been in office for a lot longer than you intended. It was meant to be a quick visit, to satisfy your need to see him for just a moment but like always you found yourself stuck in his presence because he was the only place you wanted to be at the moment.

You’d have to cut it short however. Anyone could knock on the door or walk by and hear the both of you. Someone could also look for you or notice that you’re not anywhere in your usual places around the base and get suspicious, especially when you had told Soap of all people where you were heading.

He could keep a secret but not a secret he could use to tease you. 

“What’s bothering you?” Price brought you out of your thoughts and your eyebrows knitted together. “It’s written all over your face, love.”

You wanted to tell him how lonely you felt and to ask if maybe he was feeling the same way. You wanted to tell him it was a little unfair that he spent so much time on paperwork that could wait, that it didn't need to be done all in one sitting, and that you were quite frankly, a little upset that you didn’t get to have a proper leave before getting thrown back into this mess.

But when you looked at the paperwork on his desk, the amount and the way that you noticed he had slight undereye circles, you swallowed all of your complaints.

It would be unfair to say any of that to him now; what good would it do? It would only stress him out more than he already was considering you all were dealing with arguably the most dangerous man on the planet. He didn’t need to worry about you and your feelings right now, especially because right now you weren’t necessarily supposed to be together.

You were soldiers. 

Him a captain and you a lieutenant.

Besides, you had done this song and dance for nearly two decades. In your mind you should be used to your leave being cut short, so being upset just sounded childish when you thought it all out.

So you pushed it away, like you always did.

“I’m antsy.” You said, which was partially true. “Have you heard anything from Kate?”

“She’s still trying to get into the phone. Seems they put some protective measures on it.” 

You sighed heavily and he gave you a pat on your leg with a sympathetic smile. All there was left to do was wait. You weren’t too excited to break the news to Soap or Gaz, or even Ghost, considering that you were sure they’d complain about it too. 

You were about to leave when Price spoke.

“Next week is November.” He said and you tilted your head. “Week after is our anniversary.”

“And we still haven’t figured anything out.” You hummed. “Not that it matters anyway now since we’re at work.”

Price stopped what he was doing and turned his body towards you to give you his full attention. You could see a hint of nervousness in his eyes which made you give him a confused look.

“Actually, was thinking we’d have dinner. We can find an excuse.”

You perked up which made him smile.

“Our favorite restaurant?”

When he nodded you let out a small cheer that made him chuckle. You didn’t hesitate to lean forward and trap him in a kiss he happily accepted. 

A dinner wasn’t something grand or a vacation that got you away from all of the stress in your life but you were fine with that considering the circumstances. Ordinarily, neither of you would’ve tried to go somewhere romantic together while working, the risk was too high, but Price wanted to try to make the day special regardless. You weren’t going to complain.

You were just happy that you'd get uninterrupted time with him, especially when you knew that between now and then, you’d barely see each other.

You wanted more now however, especially as he grabbed your chair to pull you closer to him. You sighed when he deepened the kiss by holding your face with gentle hands. A simple kiss was all it took to bring out the desperation you hid away but you weren’t at all embarrassed, not when he smiled against your lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck...

“Be done for the night, please?” You pleaded softly when you broke apart.

Price stared at you with a sympathetic look and you tried not to frown. You missed the guilt in his eyes when you pulled away, though he didn’t let you go very far from him, and you were unable to hide some of your disappointment.

“I’m almost done, it won’t take me long.” He said but part of you had a hard time believing him.

You didn’t dwell on how much that hurt. Instead you swallowed your disappointment and pressed a quick kiss on his cheek to make it not a big deal. You gave him a small smile and hoped you could at least convince him to come to bed before the base called for lights out.

“Don’t be too late.”

“I won’t.”

You hummed and had the idea to leave, having overstayed longer than you should or expected to do, but he still had you trapped in your chair. You raised an eyebrow and gave him a suspicious look when he pulled you to the edge of your seat but that didn’t stop the deep loving look in his eyes.

He kissed you again. It was slower and you immediately understood what he was trying to do when he placed a hand on your hip.

“John.” It came out as a soft whine rather than the protest it should’ve been when he pressed a kiss under your ear. Despite knowing that you had to leave to avoid any sort of suspicions, you leaned into him and clutched the back of his shirt.

“It’ll be quick,” he mumbled in your ear and pressed hotter kisses against your skin. 

You’d call him a liar if you weren’t aching for him. Everywhere he touched you lit your skin on fire and you held onto him tightly as if he’d pull away from you now when he made his intentions perfectly clear.

All of your self control flew out the window when he pulled you onto his lap. The thought of someone walking by didn’t cross your mind as you straddled him and moved your hips against his, especially when he let out a low rumble from his chest.

You let out a hum and smiled when you felt his hardening cock against your clothed heat. You gasped when he grouped your ass and let out a soft moan when he squeezed your plump flesh. He moved your hips and you gripped his shoulders, letting the friction create pleasure that raced up your spine-

Price’s phone vibrated loudly on his desk and you both froze. For just a moment you stared at each other with heavy breaths, waiting for the other to make a move before he leaned forward. 

When he went past you and grabbed his phone you clenched your jaw. Disappointment settled in your stomach but you brushed it off and instead slipped off of his lap without saying anything. 

He didn’t let you leave, however, as he grabbed your wrist and gave you a serious look that reminded you exactly why you had gone to his office in the first place. 

“I’ll let them know.” He hung up the phone and adjusted himself before he stood up.

“Laswell?” You wondered and he nodded.

“Looks like you got what you wished for.”

You snorted but didn’t say anything as you followed him out of his office. You pushed everything else away as you prepared yourself for another fight. 

A soldier, a medic. No longer in love with the man who stole your breath away and made you happy. 

You could only hope that this would bring the mission closer towards Makarov.

link to part 5

a/n: decided to post wips here again hopefully i don't regret it lol

tags: @sofasoap @thriving-n-jiving @writingmysanity @teconkaals @xb14 @misshoneypaper @hers-area @shuttlelauncher81 @mamanmae @nicaeno @thedevillovesflowers

[dawnoftime22]

restless.

| T.S

Warnings: None!

Summary: You couldn't sleep, and there was only one cure.

Word Count: 729

Category: Fluff!

| Started on 29/06/2023, 8:17 AM |

| Finished on 13/07/2023, 8:46 AM |

Masterlist | T.S Masterlist

“Because, you are the one who gives me safety.”

|——————————— ⸆⸉ ———————————|

Something wasn't right. You felt sleepy, but you couldn't go to sleep at all.

The cold kept hitting your skin.

Whenever you tried closing your eyes, all you saw was pitch black. Obviously. But you couldn't help but feel frustrated about it.

Every time you heard a sound it urged you to open them once more. Or whenever you accidentally imagine something horrifying. You couldn't keep them closed for even 10 minutes just for your brain to turn off.

And most of all, your favorite person wasn't there.

You were sat cross-legged on the couch, using your hand to rest your head as the tv played a random show.

You would sit back and relax, but you felt as if you're being watched. You know you aren't from the many times you've looked around, and the cats are always there to alert you, but it's hard not to feel like so.

In reality, it was just anxiety being annoying as ever.

But you've been calm.

Maybe it was this, maybe it was that.

Then it hit you.

Maybe it was restlessness.

You sighed, as you did many times before, moving to lay your back on the couch as you tried to drift off for the fiftyth time. But for however long you kept them close, you ended with giving up and opening them once more.

You moved your arm onto your face, the crook of your bent arm resting on your nose to cover half your view of the ceiling. Closing your eyes once more, with little hope that you would fall asleep.

"Baby, I'm home!" A familiar voice calls out from the front door. But you thought maybe you drifted off to sleep and started dreaming already. You hoped so.

"Babe?" She asks in a more normal volume now, standing closer to the couch without you knowing. Taylor looks down and sees you, a small smile on her face as she makes her way to sit on the couch next to you.

She gently puts her hand on your arm, slowly moving it off your face. Your eyes slowly open and you blink away the lights and colors that blind you.

Wait. This is better than a dream. You finally realise she's actually there, with you. Her figure was blurred until you see that face you adore so much.

"You okay?" she asks with concern as she kneels down next to you.

You pout and shake your head. "I wanna sleep. But I can't."

"Aw, love." She tucks a strand hair from the front of your face to the back of your ear, then placed the hand on your cheek.

"Let's go to bed, yeah? And then we can cuddle and you'll fall asleep before you even know it." Her thumb rubs your cheek before she stands up, her hand falling away and she walks to the bedroom, expecting you to follow along, but she stops and turns around to see you with the pout still, looking at her in a way that she knows says you won't be getting up.

And so, she walks back and pulls your hand as you reached out to her, to pull you to a sitting position. When she gently tugged on your hand once more to make you stand up and walk, you sat still on the couch, dropping your head on her stomach. Her hand went around your body instinctively. She looked down at you with a sigh, but smiles lovingly at how clingy you get nonetheless.

"Okay, come on." Her hands drifted down to hook under your thighs and pick you up, and you quickly put your arms around her neck to have more support so you don't fall. Although you knew she would catch you anyway.

She lays a kiss on your cheek before walking upstairs to your bedroom, you resting your head in her neck.

She puts you down on the bed, and you layed down. You waited until she joins in to snuggle up to her and get into a similar position from earlier, which was your head in the crook of her head, and her arms around your body.

With the warmth radiating off of her, and just knowing she's there, with you, keeping you safe, it already made you feel sleepy. Finally.

You closed your eyes tiredly, and slowly, your breath went from normal, to soft.

She checks down on you, happy that you got to sleep, just as she said. Not long after, she goes to dreamland with you. Hoping that either of you are dreaming about the other, or about cats.

------------------------

taglist <3 - join here! :]

@dmenby3100

[ken-dom]

Hi this is the same anon who asked about the mommy kink with ken but I was hoping you’re request was open because I had an idea it could be for like Ken or Lars you can pick so it was about how reader would go out with there friends and Ken or Lars misses then really bad you can add some smut in there maybe ?

Love your work can’t wait to read more 💖🫶🏾

Hi darling, sorry for the wait! This immediately made me think of Lars when his possessive side shows a little, but equally, imagine Ken pining for you when you’re out for a couple of hours… how delicious! So I wrote a little Ken blurb about that with a slightly smutty ending 🫶🩷 (nsfw)

You stumble through the door close to midnight, trying to be as quiet as possible as you tiptoe up the stairs, avoiding the steps you know might creak and wake him up. But on reaching the top, you see your bedroom lit up by the low, flickering light of the tv.

‘Ken?’ you whisper, wondering if he fell asleep watching Real Housewives again.

‘Oh thank god!’ Ken screeches, leaping off the bed and throwing his arms around you, squeezing tight.

‘Ken,’ you muffle against his chest, ‘I was only gone a few hours. I thought you’d be asleep!’

‘Oh I uh-’ Ken loosens his grip and drops back, averting his gaze. ‘I couldn’t sleep! I really tried but it would work!’

‘Why, what’s wrong?’ you ask, concerned and looking him over. His eyes are red and puffy and his cheeks are damp.

He sees you’ve noticed and shuffles backward to the bed, dropping down onto it. ‘Nothing…’

‘Ken, whatever it is, you can tell me. I can help you.’

‘I couldn’t sleep… because… I missed you. I’m used to you being right here-’ he gestures to the space beside him where you usually sleep; taking a breath to calm himself, ‘but I was just here,’ he gestures to himself this time, ‘alone and bored, and I needed… well, I needed…

He sobs then, tears slipping relentlessly down his cheeks.

‘You needed me here to get to sleep?’

He looks up at you through big, wet eyes. ‘…Yeah. Look, I know I’m Just Ken. And I can be Just Ken, I really can! I went to the supermarket on my own tonight and bought snacks! But it’s just… now I know what it’s like to share a bed with you… and to feel loved… it does kinda make me want to be your And Ken…’

Your heart sinks at his sad expression, head hung low in shame. You hook a finger under his chin and tilt his head up. ‘Well I can do something about the sleep part easily enough now I’m home,’ you promise. ‘Give me a few minutes, ok?’

Ken nods eagerly, watching carefully and leaning to follow your shadow as you you disappear into the bathroom.

He hasn’t moved an inch when you emerge five minutes later. You smile at his eager face. ‘Come here, My Ken.’

You stand between his legs and slide your arms around his shoulders, pulling his head close to your chest for a moment and feeling him melt before gently pushing him to lay back on the bed and climbing up to settle beside him.

‘Oh-’ Ken moans, a little too loudly, when you guide him down.

‘What is it?’

Ken doesn’t answer, but when he snuggles into you, you feel it. There’s a hot blush creeping over his cheeks and a tent forming in his pyjamas, pressing into your thigh. He ruts against you a little, whimpering at the friction.

It’s all still so new to him, you bite your lips together, trying not to giggle at how easy he is to rile up.

‘Was it the way I pushed you back?’ You know it was the My Ken too, but you don’t want to overwhelm him with too many explanations for his arousal at once. There’ll be time for that.

‘Mmhmm,’ he whines, brow furrowing, ‘is- is that normal?’

‘Very.’

You straddle him immediately, your clothed cores brushing together, and he gasps, loud and needy.

‘Y-your Ken?’ he breathes.

‘My Ken.’

His eyes slide shut and he bucks his hips up against you again, biting his lip at the thrill it sends through him.

‘Oh, you’re so hot like this,’ you coo, dragging a careful palm down his smooth chest where his shirt lies open as always. ‘All needy and sexy and hard just for me… want me to really help you get to sleep now?’

‘Mmhmm-’

[johnnycakesswitch]

Favorite little moments in the movie

• Dally swinging down from the damn roof when Ponyboy got jumped 💀

• Soda checking on Steve’s nose in the background in the beginning of the movie 😔😔 he’s such a sweetheart

• “I’m gonna make it my business to get the guy who did that to your face >:( ”

• Pony and Johnny giving Two-Bit’s car a push start such little brother energy

• Ponyboy being mad as hell laying in bed w Soda when he’s telling him Darry loves him a lot bro looks like this the entire time 😒😠☹️

• “here come the hobos” that whole little bit it’s so real like visiting your friends/sibling at work and bothering them

• Pony helping Johnny slide under the gate at the drive in

• Johnny telling Two-Bit “get out of my hair >:(” when he comes and scares them and Two brushing a comb through his hair

• Marcia wearing Two-Bit’s jacket 💔💔

• I’m sorry but Bob’s “Cherry 😡 what’s going on 😡 what are you doing!!” Is actually hilarious the way he says it makes me laugh

• “what time is it?” “I don’t know I went to sleep too 🙄 💅 ” they should’ve let Johnny say the fuck bc ik he needed to add that to a lot of the end of his sentences when talking to Pony

• Darry looking at Ponyboy through the window and picking up the paper just so he could slam it down

• Soda unbothered resting on the couch 💅 bro does not give a fuck

• Johnny rubbing Pony’s arm right when they first rub away 😔 bffs

• Pony yelling at Johnny to run when the Socs went after him ☹️ he knew how scared Johnny must’ve been

• “you really did kill him huh Johnny 😥” “yeah 😕🧍‍♂️”

• the whole scene at Buck’s, they’re all so fed up with each other 💀 but the way Dally helped them come up w a plan, zero hesitation, gave Pony dry clothes and his own jacket, as much money as he could get them, it showed a lot about Dally’s loyalty

• “don’t point the thing at me, will ya? It’s loaded, come on ✋🙄”

• Pony has the most youngest sibling energy of anyone talking abt “why do I have to act like a farm boy” Johnny should’ve told him bc I don’t damn want to tf

• Pony imagining that he’s home, I love the glimpse into his everyday life

• Johnny not knowing where to put Pony’s hair that he’s cutting so just dropping it in Pony’s lap 💀

• as scared as he was, Johnny constantly comforting Pony in the church even when he was upset and terrified himself 😕

“Johnny 😟 there’s a monster outside 😰” “what 🙄”

• Johnny blowing his smoke rings

• Dally pulling Pony’s hair to wake him 😭

• one of the first questions Pony asking being “how’s Soda doing is he upset?” ☹️

• “YOURE starving??” Johnny was sick and tired of these people 😭😭😭

• Johnny asking where Dally got the car is so funny “where’d you get this car? HUH??? 🙄” like

• them BEGGING Dally to watch the road ✋😭

• Pony mad as hell when Dally asks if they think Cherry might like him 💀

• also of course Johnny gets to ride shotgun in Dally’s car 😌 Pony gets the back 😒

• Dally attempting to yank Johnny back into the car then his little “you gonna get him? 🙄”

• Curtis brothers reuniting at the hospital 💔💔 then Darry carrying him back inside ☹️ the best boys

• Tim on the couch in the morning 😭 “hey kid 🫤”

• literally the entire following scene, it’s so domestic and shows their everyday lives but I’ll go into more detail:

- Two-Bit and Steve being so genuinely happy to see Pony and him just as always mad as hell about his eggs

- “beer for breakfast there Two-Bit? 🫤”

- “morning Mr. Universe 😄”

- Darry picking up Steve

- Soda telling Pony to shut the door and Pony just ignoring him

- Darry telling Soda to go get dressed and him instead going to sit on the couch assumingly bare ass naked to watch tv 💀

- “why don’t you get a job you ever think of getting a job for a living Two-Bit?” And “Soda, shoes” Steve has the best lines I stg

- Darry telling Ponyboy and Two to do up the dishes like this is rly everyone’s house

• “boy he’s so greasy he glides when he walks”

• Two-Bit cutting up w the Socs while Pony and Randy talk he’s so 😭😭

• the doctor saying Johnny has been asking for them ☹️ poor baby, he must’ve felt so alone and scared

• Dally being a brat and his goofy ass laugh 😭 like tf you mean you threw away your hospital gown 💀 and him saying Tim came to visit him like ok I see you Tally

• Two-Bit checking Pony’s temperature, they all care abt each other sm

• Steve and Soda in the pre rumble scene, Steve throwing cards at Soda, the arm wrestling, talking about why they like to fight, give me more Stevepop I beg

• “Curly always said you were a good kid” ik Pony’s ass was thinking omg he talks about me 😍😍😍

• Dally making sure Johnny knew how proud everyone was of him ☹️💔

• Steve asking Soda if he looks tuff 😔

• Dally calling the house and even though Steve answered him specifically asking for Darry ☹️ he could’ve told anyone what was going on but he wanted Darry then everyone without a second thought going to help him

• Pony’s absolutely heart wrenching “no” right as Dally dies and Darry yelling at the cops

• “is somebody sick?” 😕

• Darry smiling reassuringly at Pony in court 😔 then the hug at the end when everything works out

• Soda’s monologue and Darry promising that they’re not gonna fight anymore 😔 then “let’s go home I’m cold”

Anyway all these little moments are so important to help build up all of the characters! I love all of them and think every moment is so important to the overall story

[straykids-97]

Chan Drabble ✍🏻💭

Laying here watching tv in bed and had a hard thought about Chan being a switch 🥵🥵 while I’d never think he would be a switch just imagine w me for once lol

You have Chan tied to the chair in your room, hands restrained at his sides. His body is mostly bare and he’s utterly exposed to your every whim. The red rope around his wrists was usually on you, but at your bizarre request, he taught you how to tie him up. A request he’d never would have complied with before. But for you, he’d try anything.

You stand in front of Chan, admiring him. His wrists tied tightly behind his back. You bite your lip, running your hands down his arms, “Look at you…” you hum, hands stopping at his thighs. “All tied up just for me.” You giggle and take a few steps back to the bed until your thighs were against the mattress. “I know how to really drive you insane, baby boy.” Chan groans at the nickname, “How’s that, mistress?” He purrs. Though Chan preferred being a Dom, you could see he was genuinely trying to humor you by being the sub for the night. Through much difficulty.

“Someone touching what you can’t.” You sigh, dropping your silk robe to reveal skimpy lingerie in his favorite color; black. You spread your legs, exposing yourself to him. You watch as Chan pulls at the restraint, gritting his teeth; he knows what’s about to happen. You run your hand down your chest to your stomach, “I know how angry it makes you when you can’t have what you want,” you hiss the feeling of your fingers on your soaking core made a chill run up your spine. “Ah, fuck.” You mewl. Chans fingers would have felt better, but for the sake of the night, you wanted to do this. Not just for you, but for him.

You shudder as he growls, a cute grin spreading across your face, “to show you how much you frustrate me by simply existing.” You throw your head back, the warmth spread throughout your body. Chan watching you get off was probably your new favorite thing to experience. “What makes it so frustrating?” He asked. You giggle, “I thought I told you not to speak?” Chan went silent as you pleasured yourself. Or rather tried.

After a few moments of attempting to get yourself close enough to cum, it always seemed so far away. You whine, body becoming flushed with exertion. Biting your lip you focus your face on Chan, who was staring daggers at you. You grin and throw your head back, a haughty moan leaving your throat as you picked up the pace. You were lost in trying to pleasure yourself that you hadn’t seen that Chan was a busy man in his chair.

You hadn’t realized that your words had finally got to Chan and he had had enough of your smart mouth. He had managed to begin to untie his hands, knowing that he the knot he taught you was one he could get out of just in case you couldn’t get him out later. As he watched you struggle to cum, he took the time to wriggle free and was waiting for the perfect moment to bounce on you and show you who really was in charge.

The hot moan that left your mouth as you grew close to your orgasm was the final straw and he launched himself at you. You didn’t realized what was happening until he was wrapping your hands together and essentially made a leash around your wrists. “I know you’re doing so well,” he growled, leaning into your face, “but I’ll take it from here.”

©️straykids-97

[pandorasfavorite]

Their Karma

AN: This is fake don't throw a hissy fit if you don't like it. I mainly just wrote the revealing aspect because why not.

TW: violence, revenge (but really its not vivid at all), our man being sexy 24/7.

Kinda short, not my best work but any work is memorable

One of the many things that made your heart break was to see someone you love in pain. You would call yourself a defender, family and friends are your everything, and only one could imagine what you feel when your boyfriend is hurting.

Dominik walks into the house quietly, its close to late at night and he wouldn't want to wake you if you were asleep. But alas you stayed up for Dominik, it's a way you show your love. You are sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders and the TV playing a scary movie. Your head pops up from the couch and you turn to look at your boyfriend in glee that he is home. Dominik walks behind the couch and plants a kiss on the top on of your head. He stays there for a moment enjoying your sweetness and tenderness, "I'm going to shower really quick, I'll be right back" he mutters into your hair.

You perk up again at the idea, "I'll shower with you. I've missed you babe" you insist. Dominik smiles but his heart breaks behind his facade, he has to tell you no. "It's okay just wait here. I'll be fast" he says pulling away from you and moving towards the bathroom. The bathroom door closes and your body sinks into the couch; finally processing what he said. You furrow your eyes in sadness and confusion, Dominik has never said no to you showering with him. What happened today that changed that?

You keep to yourself, not wanting to push Dominik's boundaries even though it hurt your feelings a little. Dominik rushes into the bedroom, so quick you only see the walls and hear the click of the bedroom door when turn your head. Now you are genuinely worried, Dominik has never just ran off. You drop your head into your hands and breathe steadily, you want to approach him with a clear mind. Its for the best interest of everyone.

You walk down the hall silently and open the door just the same, Dominik is standing in front of the mirror looking at himself. He hasn't noticed the door being opened or you moving into the room. He can't hide the damage anymore. You gasp, your own hand slapping over your mouth in shock. Your feet carry you closer to Dominik and the details of his back and chest only get worse. Red slashes and purple bruising is all over Dominik's body.

Dominik spins around, eyes wide at your gasp, just now noticing you are there Dominik tries to cover as much damage as he can instinctively. You stand there in front of him mouth agape, you circle around Dominik reaching out to graze over unscathed areas on his body.

But truthfully he is covered in marks. You nod to yourself silently; processing what you can, processing your anger just the same. Dominik stays quiet until you start nodding to yourself; he knows that is just the beginning. "Baby it looks worse than it feels", your eyes snap up to his in fury. You're not mad at him but whatever is in the crossfire is in the crossfire.

"Dominik are you fucking kidding me right now?!" you ask him voice raised, you huff and puff and sit on the edge of the bed breathing. You are doing the best you can at calming yourself down, the absolute best. You clench your fists and open them over again, you do this too many times to count.

Dominik runs a hand through his hair but not without the pain of lifting his arm up, his hiss of air makes your head whip around in worry. You relax for just a moment standing up and motioning for him to sit on the bed and relax. Dominik lays on his side of the bed, but his back is stinging at the feeling , worrying you. "Should I get you some pillows? Will that help?", you question rubbing his hand. Dominik nods and grits through the pain, "Yea honey that would be nice". Dominik kisses your hand and lets you pull away, you go around the bed and grab both of your pillows in hand without hesitation.

You slide the pillows under his back smoothly before Dominik can protest, "No baby, those are yours" he says with a exhale of his breath, finally being able to lay down with little pain. You roll your eyes at him from where you are sitting, "And they are the softest. Im not what you should be worrying about", you say in retaliation. Dominik reaches for your hand, not breaking eye contact when he gets it, "I will always find ways to worry about you, Amor".

You click off the lamp and get new pillows for yourself. You stay close to Dominik but you can't lay on his chest until he heals. Only fueling the anger you put to the side while you were taking care of him. When morning comes you throw yourself out of bed, getting ready to go to work even though you and Dominik both have a day off now. You sit painkillers and water on the side table beside Dominik, not leaving before kissing his head goodbye.

You walk through the building, hair tied up and emotions through the roof. You stop in a storage room and grab a stick of your own, feeling the best way to grip it. Your knuckles turn white and you storm to Seth's room first. You knock politely as you can, you need to blindside him to get the best access. He opens the door with his normal arrogance, lighting up and ready to spew nonsense when he sees you. You waste no time. You smack him till his shirt rips, till his body matches the extent of Dominik's if not worse.

You do the same to Buddy, just the same and you are sure to tell them why. They know what they did wrong, if Rey didn't get them first you sure as hell would. You walk out of the building much like when you entered. You're still angry. At least now you know they have learned a lesson. They know better now.

[lostinwalmartmymomleftme]

What r ur dreamswap headcanons :3

Have to redo this bc Tumblr hates me:

* 7 each

* Human Ver. Specific

Dream

Dream 100% has something that’s dedicated to Ani, (hospital, orphanage, medical organization, etc.)

To add more depth to him being Latino, I choose to believe he’s Chilean-American

He doesn’t like to be touched, but would never correct anybody on it because he doesn’t want to offend anyone and he doesn’t view it as a priority or concern 

Only has one scar and it was prior to the incident (tm), nightmare, dropped a bowl, and a shard of the ceramic cut dream deep enough to form a scar, and subconsciously Dream doesn’t want it to heal, so it doesn’t fully heal, though it is fairly faint, it’s on his wrist directly above the bone 

He’s probably some form of genderqueer, yeah, doesn’t know it and refuses to look into it because he just doesn’t view it as important, he probably goes by pronouns 

His magical blondness, skips a few streaks of his hair, so he has black streaks that he dies blonde to match the rest of his hair

Canonically multilingual, speaking both English and Mandarin, though I would like to add that he can fluently speak Latin, modern Spanish, and French

Bonus: Dream does that OCD thing (w/o actually having it) where all of his pens when they’re laying on his desk are at the exact same place, in a perfect little row

Nightmare

He sits in trees and people watches, like he sits up in trees, kind of in forests and watches people on picnics and fun little family outings, and tries to imagine what his life would be like if it hadn’t been what it is 

His hair is extremely heat damaged, because he totally straightens it (it’s the only thing about him that’s allowed to be straight /j)

Extension on him canonically being Latino: I think he’s Peruvian-American

For some reason collect bottle caps (like the little metal ones you get on alcohol bottles (he doesn’t drink though))

He has a peanut allergy

Despite being an insomniac, whenever he does actually sleep, he starfishes

He doesn’t like looking in mirrors, there’s anything wrong with it, there isn’t really reason why he doesn’t like it, he just find it unsettling and he covers the one in his room with a blanket

Ink

He has one of those canopy beds, but the actual canopy part is custom painted and embroidered (by himself) with band logos, TV show logos, characters he likes, etc.

He is really bad at spelling, professional emails are more like word scrambles

If someone were to ask him to draw them, he would draw them, claim he made mistake, tear it up, then draw a stick figure, and give it to them

Usual Ethnicity one: he actually doesn’t know his ethnicity beyond being Latino, but he is Cuban-American

He’s emo and claims his favorite color is black, but it’s orange which is equally as bad

He has no real gauge of his own pain tolerance and usually has to be forced into medical situations by other people, usually Dream when he reports back to him

Ink’s allergic to bleach and ant bites

Cross

He hasn’t had his first kiss

He uses Old Spice cologne in the classic scent. But he does it to a NAUSEATING level.

He’s Irish, ethnically. I don’t make the rules.

He’s minorly lactose intolerant

This man owns like five Tamagatchis

He makes really good bread for some reason? Like this man SLAYS a sourdough

Cross uses 3-in-1 bodywash

(This is a Tamagatchi if you don’t know)

Blue

This man wears hair curlers to bed 100%

He’s really bad at math

Probably advocates for eating healthy (being a yoga instructor, possible influencer)

Blue is so ADHD to me

American-Italian/Portuguese

Has never made a bed in his LIFE

Blue seems like the kind of man who would burn water

Error

Clean freak, he prefers to keep the house clean, but it ends up a mess anyways because Cross and Nightmare always end up messing it up

Easily the best driver of the Meme Squad

His lock/homescreen is an inspirational quote

LOVES the rain, finds it calming and loves the smell of it, but hates getting caught out in the rain (loves the aesthetic, hates the actual thing)

Maybe American-Moroccan?

He likes dark fantasy books

Was top of his class when he had been in school, prior to his amnesia

Kevin

Can read. (Can’t write (no thumbs))

Can and does steal from the meme squad

Bonus:

How long I think it takes DS to get ready in the mornings:

Dream takes a solid hour and a half

Blue takes an hour

Nightmare takes 45 minutes

Cross and Ink take 15-20 minute for the sake of layers

Error and Finch take like 5 bc they dress really basic

dreamswap by @\onebizarrekai

[dira333]

Who am I and how many?

Midoriya Izuku x Reader

Words: 1872

Reader has a quirk that allows her to travel through different alternate Universes. She can steal from there or drop and leave people stranded there. She can go through undetected or let herself be noticed but it is very taxing on her energy.

warnings: a little bit angsty at the end

@revasserium I used the 31 AU Challenge as inspiration for this.

When you were four, you got lost in another world for three days. 

You weren’t that scared, really, because you knew that world from your books, the little red hood you were wearing looked exactly how you had imagined it and even the wolf looked less scary as he lay in bed, answering your questions.

The scary part was returning home and realizing that no one had noticed you’d been gone.

When you were ten, you brought back a single white feather that was as long as your arm. You used it to write sometimes and hid it well from your grandmother who seemed to understand that your quirk wasn’t about being invisible but something else.

When you disappeared, you did it wholly.

But you did not like to tell others where you went. Or who you met with.

His name is Izuku.

In every world you visit, he is there. 

Sometimes you have to look for him, and sometimes he comes looking for you, but he exists in every universe.

Izuku becomes your North Star, the light that calls for you.

No matter where you meet him, no matter how he lived, there is always a kindness to his features and words that makes you want to be the same.

There is a strength in his smile that inspires you to keep fighting.

In the fiery pit, he calls himself Ku, the only kind soul around to guide you.

He takes your hand when faceless creatures sneer down at you and something ugly and inhuman crawls towards you, talking about eating you.

“Sometimes,” he says and manages to sound wiser than his age, “Hell is the other people. But you can’t let that bring you down.”

Izuku likes everything green. 

He teaches you how to fly, how dreams can lift you, how to follow the second star, and made you fall in love with being a child.

“I don’t want to go home.” You tell him and he holds you close, the two of you bound over the knowledge that sometimes, a home is not a home.

Sometimes, home is a person.

By the time you’re fourteen, you met him in so many places and have lived so many lives.

They call you quirk “wandering” and ask you to teleport. Yourself, others, things. 

Your mother once asks you to get her an expensive bag, pointing at the live stream of a runway show playing on TV. “Give it to me.” She orders and you disappear, but not to the place she wants you to go.

Instead, you spend a week selling potions, living in what once used to be a school bus, and feeding parts of your dinner to a talking cat and a little green bunny that likes to cuddle with you at night.

Your mother has forgotten about her demands when you return but the warmth of the bunny in your arms never leaves your memories again. You’ve called it Izuku because it looked like him and felt like him. Sweet and unobtrusive yet bringing you a warmth that feeds the fire in your soul.

By age twenty, you’ve learned about the Izuku of your own world. 

Midoriya Izuku. Deku. Hero of this world. Hero of all your worlds.

Whenever you slip into another world, you wait for him to show up, to find you, to let you find him.

He is King Midoriya. 

He is the sweet boy next door.

He is a waiter in an old-fashioned roadside diner.

He is the writer and you’re his muse.

You’ve danced a ball with him, kissed him over a milkshake and a burger in a dingy roadside diner, and made love to him in the bedroom of a castle that belonged to him, high above a land that listened to his every word.

You’ve had him call you a witch and a fairy, a princess and a commoner. 

You’ve seen him kill and heal, use magic and superpowers, be tiny and a giant, an idol and the boy next door.

By the time you’re twenty, you’ve learned to master your quirk.

You know where each door leads, know what steps to take and what to skip.

In the morning, you skip the morning commute in favor of walking through a world where you make coffee for a living.

You sit for a while, sip a latte you ordered from yourself and watch as your other you flirts helplessly with a flustered Izuku. He’s so cute in this world and would you have less sympathy for your other self, you’d go over there and get his number.

From the coffee shop, it’s only one step into the agency that you work in.

Four hours of work until you can take another step and find yourself in a big cafeteria.

Izuku sits at a large table with his friends. 

One of them is Kachan, you’ve learned. He doesn’t like you at all.

But you’re not there to talk to them. Instead, you grab yourself lunch and take a seat at the table closest to them, content to watch them interact with each other.

The Izuku of this world is carefree and happy. It’s soothing to your soul to see him like this.

You don’t exist in this world.

Eventually, you have to get back to work. Four more hours and a round of patrol before you can make it back to your apartment.

You long to take another step, a quick detour through a world you haven’t yet experienced, but you’re drained, tired and if you’re not in control, you won’t be able to come back when you need to.

The only possible relief right now is the bright lights of a convenience store, its warmth welcoming you even at this late hour.

You walk through the aisles towards the back for a drink and a snack, anything to get you in a good enough shape to make it home.

As you stretch to reach a bottle on the upper shelves, a scarred hand takes the bottle from you.

“Here.” The voice is warm, the syllables melting together with exhaustion. You recognize his voice first and his hair second, but his eyes are what steal your breath. 

“Izuku.” You whisper, a shiver moving over you as you realize where you are. This is your world. He doesn’t know you here.

“Oh, do we know each other?” He smiles and your heart flutters in sync.

Maybe it’s the late hour or your exhaustion, his appearance, or your loneliness, but you can feel a well-known pull. Your quirk is in control and not the other way around.

There is not much time and you open your mouth to tell him good bye for now, at least you hope you’ll see him again, but he must sense something, because his hands grab your shoulders and you’re a little too slow to open your mouth or a little too tired of having to leave him again and again, but there’s darkness and there’s light and Izuku blinks against the warm golden light of the morning sun.

“Where are we?” He asks, hands moving off you. You grab his shoulders instead.

“If you let go of me,” you tell him, “You will be noticed.”

“What?!” There’s a note in his voice you haven’t heard before. It’s a mix of fear and attention and something entirely new.

“Turn around. Slowly. Do not let go of me.”

You know this world well. You exist in this world. 

Or rather, you once did.

Izuku is a writer here. Gifted with the terrible fate of experiencing life in all it’s vivid detail, all emotions raw and intense to him. He’s cursed to bring all of it to paper.

He married you, loved you, and built a home for you.

You died in his arms a few years ago.

When you met him, you’d stayed invisible. The pain in this world touches even the corners of your heart that have scabbed over, that are numb from the past. 

Only when you’re really lonely do you travel here and keep Izuku company. 

Sometimes you come to him in a dream and remind him that you loved him.

Sometimes you let him nap with his head in your lap and tell him to go out and love again.

Tonight he’s sitting at the window, gazing out into the world that’s sunkissed and lovely.

You wonder what he sees. 

Izuku, your Izuku, strains for the desk and you move with him.

You don’t want to hurt any of them and them meeting cannot go over without any hurt.

“What is this?” He asks and you allow him to pick up a page. He reads quietly, his lips move as he reads. 

No other Izuku moves his lips as he reads and you’re fascinated, thrilled and scared.

How do you explain to someone that you’ve met him in every world there is, in some form or another?

How do you explain to someone that you’ve loved him in a thousand different lives before?

“I’ve been waiting for you.” Izuku’s voice is deep and rich, vibrating with emotions.

You look to the window, knowing who has spoken.

“You brought me myself.” He says and gets up, tall, but beaten by life. 

“Let me introduce you to my world.”

You need two days to gather enough strength to find back home.

Four days in the world of a writer and its muse, a muse so vibrant and loved that her spirit lives on even after her death.

Izuku, your Izuku, has been quiet and attentive.

He’s listened to this other version of himself, has not once urged you to hurry.

Your exhaustion must have been evident or maybe he’s too enraptured with meeting himself.  He’s read through every page he could find. He has watched you with careful eyes when you fell asleep on the giant bed in the middle of the room, knowing that a different you had slept there before, knowing that a different version of him has slept there with you.

“I am sorry,” you tell him when you step back into the convenience store as if only a few minutes have passed. “I wanted to warn you. I would have been fine on my own.”

“How many of me have you met?” He asks instead.

“I have lost count.”

“Show me.” He says but he does not sound like your mother, demanding, or like your father, begging. 

He asks like someone who’s going to give you the world in return if you dare to give him your hand.

You are old and grey, but Izuku recognizes you the moment you step inside his room.

Izuku, the writer, is waiting for you. He seems to not have aged a day but now you realize that he’s only ever been a little older than you, a little bit further in life and experience.

It’s not the age that made you come back for him. It’s the loss that you both now share.

He opens his arms for you, welcoming your pain, happy to ease your misery.

“I loved him.” You say and he nods into your hair, lets your tears soak his shirt.

“We loved you.”

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[stefanmikaleson1864]

New Horizons

Requested by the lovely @urmilfstep-mom

If you could make a danny brackett x reader from scream 6 that would be really nice id want it to be like them after scream 6 happened they are already dating yk and they live together like the rest you can imagine yourself but these are just some standards so yeah already thx and i love your works by the way

A/N: I totally love this idea and I’m gonna keep the same vibes of the show and keep the reader and Tara as sisters.

P.S. If you like my work please comment like and reblog it means a lot to see interactions on my work

Y/N Pov

A year had gone by since everything had happened. This time we decided to stay in New York. It was our home and Tara was in school. We were tired of running we just wanted to settle down.

Things felt like they were finally coming together. You and Danny were happy and you had even taken the step of moving in with each other. Learning to let go of Tara was hard but you were doing it.

She was moving on campus and the twins promised they would watch after her. I went back to therapy again. It was helping a little bit we were on a journey here.

After everything that happened you two moved far out of the city. You lived in a quiet litle town. There was this amazing cafe that the both you loved so much they saved you a pertmanet seat

You guys even got a dog together. Family walks were the best. Finding new places where you lived. You both loved walking though the park holding hands 

Every day was weird though it was like I was getting better. I was getting to the place I wanted to be

. But then It felt like I kept waiting for something to drop. I had to remind myself not to have a panic attack every time the phone rang.

Danny was incredible though. He was there for you and always re assured   he wasn’t some secret killer obsessed with your dad.  

Sense things were getting back to normal you decided how you wanted the rest of your life to look.

You spent so much time worrying about other people that you needed to take care of yourself. Since  Then? you decided to take some classes at the local community college. Just some general education classes.

You were thinking about becoming a trauma counselor. Being able to help others and know why they weren’t alone. To show people how strong they are.

Danny was doing well as well. He was still hella overprotective of you though. You were grateful to have someone in your life who cared so much about you .

The two of you were even talking a lot about your future together. A family and getting married. It was so crazy how in love with this man you were. Was it too cheesy to sa the completed you.

It always felt like something was missing and now you know why.  

A sense of family and belonging was something you always wanted. Danny and everyone gave you that. someone to come home to. To wake up in the morning and see someone laying down next to you.

You never really thought you were the type to want to settle down and have kids and wear a wedding dress and say sappy vows.

You considered yourself a lone wolf type of person. But being with Danny changed all that.

Havings kids and buying a big house and growing old with him was something you dreamed about. 

You never got tired of being with each other either. He would always drop you off to school or work. And you insisted with finding your own way home. 

He would even drop by for lunch just because he missed you. He would always bring flowers to the most amazing ones. 

Life at home was even better to. You were a terrible cook so he took care of that you did the dishes a true team. 

He always had his set of TV shows he loved to watch. He loved crime shows like FBI. You thought he looked like the guy Nestor but he didn’t see it. 

He made you sit with him and watch them all. He loved sharing his intrest with you. 

He also never wanted to go to bed by himself because was lonely. Which you thought was really sweet. 

The little things like that always meant so much. A simple normal life with the man you were in love with. 

New Horzions were on the way and you welcomed them with open arms 

[leajdh]

Gold rush

Chapter three: And I thought this was as bad as it gets, but I was wrong, I was so wrong. Seems like the world’s placing bets if I’ll be able to last any longer.

He was just a few more steps away from becoming a living legend. Already praised by the media as the honored one, he made a grave mistake which not only put his Ice Hockey career on hold, it disappointed even his most loyal fans so much so that his reputation sank to an all-time low.

Then he meets you; a retired figure skating champion who is now trying to find her purpose in life after her triumphs, all while still being loved and cherished by the media and public likewise.

Satoru Gojo sees his chance to not only get back unto the rink, but also to regain his former popularity.

But he soon realizes it will be a lot harder to get on your good side, because he's everything you despise combined into one person.

Will you give him a second chance and allow him to redeem himself, or is this going to be the match for your life time?

Gojo Satoru x reader (first person narrator)

Ice Hockey AU

FAKE DATING TROPE

Enemies to lovers

English isn't my first language, so expect some grammar errors

18+!!

LINK TO ALL CHAPTERS:

After the encounter with Satoru on the rink I went home, threw my phone on my bed, took a shower and ignored the constant beeping which was in highsight a grand mistake. 

I notice that Hime isn’t home as I’m leaving the shower. With a towel around my head I turn on the TV while applying some moisturizer on my legs and arms.

I’m not paying too much attention to the gossip news anchor as I search for the remote in between the couch gaps, leaving cream grease everywhere. Just as I found it, the sports segment starts. 

And my name drops. 

What? 

I haven’t heard my name on the news in months. Last time was when I announced I wouldn’t be part of the Olympic team anymore. 

I stare at the TV screen as the brunette anchor continues: “... the Olympic gold medalist, still known as America's sweetheart, sneakily revealed to her fans on Instagram her new relationship with NHL champion Satoru Gojo. Take a look.”

I can’t keep looking away from the screen. It’s like a vile catastrophe where you can’t shut your eyes. They show a picture of Satoru grinning as his head lays on a thigh. 

My thigh.

No, there is no way. 

I look at the corner of the screen and see the source. 

It’s my instagram account.

Without thinking I run to my room, nearly slipping due to the moisturizer still drying and grab my phone. 

It’s going crazy. 

I have a dozen missed calls, text messages and way too many notifications. 

I ignore it all and go straight to my instagram story where I see that this isn’t a bizarre dream.

It’s reality.

From the living room I hear the anchor talking more: “Both recently started to follow each other on instagram and while neither her nor his PR team confirmed the relationship so far, it seems really clear to us.”

Then laughter. 

I stumble back to the living room and stare again at the screen, while my phone is constantly beeping in my hand. 

The brunette anchor turns to a blonde one, who says: “This is the first time Satoru Gojo has presented a girl on his social media accounts as he reposted her story with a heart. Which tells us even the most notorious playboy can fall in love.”

Then again, laughter.

“I would love nothing more than to play fly at their dinner table. I can not imagine Naobito Zenin, who is the coach of the New Jersey Devils, being happy about his daughter dating a New York Ranger.”

Then again, laughter.

“So far upon request he hasn’t commented on it, but we are sure..”, I turn the TV off and glare at the black screen.  

My heart stands still.

Am I dying?

No.

But it feels like it. 

Yes.

I’m not sure what would be worse. This or if he had leaked the video of us in the car. 

I just know one thing, he is behind all of that. While my dumb ass was occupied looking through his messages, he deviously took the picture and uploaded it on my instagram. 

What I certainly don’t know is why is he doing that?

What the hell is his reason behind it?

I sit on the ground, feeling my phone still vibrating in my hand as my brain goes blank and a second later starts to rattle on full speed. 

No, no, no, this can’t be happening!

I’m opening Instagram.

He played me again, but this time for everyone to see.  

I want to lock my phone again after seeing all the notifications and throw it away, but I’m too hooked. 

I’m a shaky mess. I can’t believe this is real. So many people have already seen this picture. I have thousands of users reacting to my story. Under my newest post, which was days ago, people talk about it. 

There are a lot of positive comments. Nothing special for me. Usually all my comments are nice. I never get genuine hate. A few mean comments about my looks, but nothing out of the ordinary. Bad comments are normal on social media, sad but true.

People congratulate me, wishing Satoru and me good luck in our relationship. Saying stuff like couple goals and some even say they are jealous of me for dating Satoru. 

I’m freaking out. 

Is this really what they are thinking? 

Dummy, of course they would think that! 

However this time I’m completely beaten as I see some of the sheer hate comments I’m receiving. 

My comments are full of New Jersey Devils fans, calling me all sorts of names. From whore to slut to traitor. Telling me that they now understand why my father never mentions me when I’m spreading my legs for a Ranger. I should be ashamed and kill myself. And more wicked misogynistic slogans I would never have imagined to ever hear. 

I’m trying to calm down. 

People like that shouldn’t bother me.

But what bothers me are my followers who are disappointed at me for apparently hooking up with Satoru. They call him a troublemaker, a womanizer, a fucking fuckboy. They don’t understand why I would date a guy like him. It’s out of character for me and they already seem to know that he will cheat on me. 

Hooking up, dating, cheating.

All these theories and not even one is true.  

What kind of sick game is Satoru playing now? What is this all about?

I try to regain my posture and take a deep breath before I will end up throwing my phone against the wall. 

I go to my timeline and gossip pages have already written articles about the situation. The picture is everywhere with all types of headings like Satoru Gojo dating everybody’s figure skating darling; Olympic gold medal athlete shares intimate photo of her new relationship; Satoru Gojo quits his bachelor lifestyle with no other than America's sweetheart - can this really end well? See here all his former liaisons and so on. But the worst is a headline with a picture of my father and in big fat red letters written Betrayal! How could his own daughter do this to him?

I hate the press. 

What do they mean with ‘do this to him’? 

Acting like he cares, let’s not talk about all the shitty stuff he did to me. He should grovel on his knees to me and thank me for never talking bad about him. For ignoring his existence as much as he tries to ignore mine.  

At least the article says that neither his PR team nor him are available for a comment, like the anchor on TV said too. He goes the typical route. Ignoring everything that has something to do with me. I am relieved by his silence. 

My next stop is Satorus profile. Apparently I’m already following him and of course he follows me back. He shared my story with a huge heart emoji added to it. I check his newest post out, it is a photo from a week ago, and go to the comments. All comments are just a few minutes old and they are so different from mine. Of course he also got hate from Devils fans, as expected. But I notice Satoru gets overall hate. 

I realize I was so focused on hating Satoru that I didn’t see the hate he’s already getting from the public. People calling him a disgrace to Ice Hockey, how he should have died in the crash and that the Rangers deserve better than an alcohol addict. Disappointed fans everywhere, if you can even call these people fans. 

Just as I started to feel pity for him, I looked at the comments for people congratulating him on the relationship. And they are so different from mine. They are just so humiliating. For me. Talking about my tits, my ass, my body overall but worse are the comments about how only a Ranger could fuck a Devils daughter so hard that she switches sides. The jabs against my father are vile and nasty and I’m the last person to defend my father, but they are so horrible. 

However in the end all come to the conclusion that I’m the problem. I’m the whore daughter with daddy issues who picked out of all the men available a Ranger to get attention from her father.  

Again more and more conspiracies about this one fucking post. 

And I’m the one in the crossfire. 

I can’t wrap my head around on why Satoru did this. 

What does he gain from it?

Other than humiliating me. 

If he thought it’s a funny little jab against my father, he couldn’t be more wrong. My father will ignore this and overcome these jokes while this will taint my entire career, my entire life. 

From now on this will follow me like a shadow and leave a dark cast around everything I have ever done, everything I will ever do.  

I end up throwing my phone against the wall. The screen shatters like my accomplishments. I stand up and walk in circles, feeling like the air in my lungs doesn’t fully get in and I start to pant in panic. On my knees I concentrate on breathing, trying to regain composure, but I’m too overwhelmed and all I can think about is, why? 

Out of the corner of my eyes I see the screen lighten up, Hime is calling me. I managed to pick up the call, filled with rage I didn't feel until now.

“Thank god, you finally picked up! Why didn-”

I don’t let her finish. 

“Do you know where he is?”

She instantly knows who I am talking about.

“Oh uh, he’s at the resort eating lunch with-”, again I don’t let her finish and hang up, letting my broken phone fall to the ground and run to get some clothes on. I struggle with putting my jeans over my greasy thighs as I jump up and down. It’s not even fully over my butt as I grab my shoes and slide into them, all while pulling the first top I can find over my head. 

I stomp outside, closing my jeans as I take a shortcut through a muddy path to get as fast as possible to the resort.

My shoes are ruined but I don’t care as I run through the entry, seeing Hime behind the counter arranging some flowers.

“There you a-”, she pauses as I ignore her and just rip the vase out of her hands.

“What are you doing?”, she runs after me as I enter the dining room. It’s empty, only one table is occupied. 

I notice the white hair and see red.

Everything happens so fast as I throw the flowers on the ground, Hime shouting something while Satoru looks up at me as I toss the water on him. 

Everyone on the table jumps up, Suguru snatching the glass vase right from my hands before I have the chance to throw it too. I don’t care, I quickly clasp whatever is standing the nearest to me and fling it at Satoru, who is completely drenched.

A spoon, a handful of a salad, an open orange juice box.

Everything lands on Satorus chest.

Suguru puts the vase to the side, instantly capturing me by my waist and pulling me away from the table. I kick my feet against it like a raging child as everyone stares at me like I’m completely insane. 

“You fucking asshole! Why did you do this!?”, I scream at Satoru as Suguru pulls me away even further. I hit him with my elbows, but his grip isn’t getting weaker as he lifts me off the ground with one arm. 

“I should have expected that”, is all Satoru utters as he dusts the salad pieces off his shirt. 

“Calm down”, Suguru speaks softly to me and I hear Hime croak: “Oh god.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down! Let me go!”, I boot against his legs, fidgeting like a fish on dry land. The other man on the table just stands there in shock. I recognize him as the skinny one, who left Masamichis office yesterday. 

“I will if you stop throwing things, okay?”, Suguru says calmly, even when his grip around me tells a different story. 

“Don’t tell me what to do! I have every goddamn right to react like this! Do you know what he did!?”

“I do and I understand your anger, but please calm down and let’s talk about this. Together.”

I don’t know why Sugurus' voice has this effect on me, but I settle down, stop kicking and let my arms hang loose. Suguru releases me from his hold and sets my feet on the ground. I still glare at Satoru and for a second I want to grab the chair next to me and hit it over his stupid head. 

“Just tell me why”, I stammer and keep looking straight into his eyes. I know I must look wild. My face is probably red as a tomato, my hair is still wet from the shower, I have tears in my eyes and my hands are coated in yellowish salad dressing. 

I wipe with the backside of my hand over my itchy nose and wait for a response, Suguru close to my side, he’s probably afraid I will throw something again upon hearing Satorus response.  

“You would have never agreed to this, so I took matters into my own hands.”

I frown.

What does that even mean?

“Agreed to what?”

“Fake dating me”, he states and I blankly stare at him. 

“Fake dating? What? Why? I don’t understand.”

Satoru sits back down on his chair, spreading his legs while he slumps down in the most relaxed way possible. 

I don’t think I have ever seen him sit like a normal human so far. 

“My popularity isn’t the best at the moment. So I had this idea that if I was in a relationship with you, America’s scandal-free sweetheart, I could regain it.”

“Miss, we didn’t have any clue about this”, the skinny man tells me. I quickly gaze at him. His head is down and he stands still like a statue. 

I have no idea what to say. This is just too unreal.

I’m glad Utahime decides to speak for me, even though she must be confused as well: “So you decided that without asking for her permission?”

“Ups, I guess”, is all he says and now Hime is the one throwing something at him, but Gojo catches it.

“Satoru”, Suguru warns in a low tune.

“You have 30 minutes to pack your stuff and get out of my resort or I will call the police”, is all I say as I turn around with a blank face to leave. It’s not particularly my resort but after this story Masamichi would agree without a second thought.  

“Wait, I’m sorry! I know I’m a shithead. But this whole situation is beneficial for both of us!”

“How?”, I don’t believe it, whatever he is going to tell me. There is no benefit for me. 

“I will pay you as much as you want and-”

“You think you can buy me?”

“I didn’t mean it in that way”, he shrugs, now starting to realize that he won’t be able to glide easily through this ordeal. He stands up, towering over me, as I take a step back to bring more space between us, while he is trying to come closer. 

“I don’t need nor want your money”, I pause and want to walk away but it overcomes me. I want him to know what he did to me. Closing the space between us, I push with my flat hand against his chest, which feels like a brick wall as I yell: “Did you read the comments? I get called a whore, a slut and even worse names. Your “fans” talk about my body like I’m a fucking piece of meat. I get dragged through the mud but of course, you wouldn’t care about what this means for me!”

I push him once more, he lets me do it, looking at my eyes while I fight back the tears: “But wanna know what the worst thing about all this is? Reading in an article ’Satoru Gojos alleged girlfriend hasn’t commented so far on her relationship status’. I’m starting to get the girlfriend-of treatment. After all my triumphs I’m just the silly little girlfriend. It wasn’t enough for you to ruin your own career with your egotistical behavior, no, you had to taint mine too.” 

He still looks at me and for the first time he seems to be ashamed. His shoulders are tense, his hands are clamped together as he has a hard time maintaining eye contact. 

“We will figure something out”, Suguru interrupts the silence. 

“No, you have 30 minutes to leave.”, I state more to Satoru than to Suguru.

“Let us find a solution together”, Suguru insists but I just shake my head, now looking at him.

“30 minutes is a nice gesture of mine.”

I turn around as Satoru tries to get a hold of my wrist, but I’m too fast as I walk faster and faster out of the resort. I hear Hime behind me shouting something, but I don’t care as I fall into a sprint. 

I need to get everything out of my mind.

No thinking, just running until my lungs burn.

I run over the muddy path to my car, nearly slipping and twisting my leg. My mother would have killed me if she saw that. Risking my well being because I’m so emotional and don’t know what else to do except running away. 

Soon I arrive at my car and just drive to the rink. My legs are still sore from the hard morning training but I don’t care. This is the only way I know to deal with too many emotions. 

I shut them out with ice skating. 

I unlock the closed doors at the rink hall. Seems like my uncle is still skiing. 

Behind the counter are my skates and a pair of leggings. I easily swap my jeans with them and sit down at my usual bench to knot my skates on. 

The front door opens and closes with a squeak and I expect Hime to show up. She knows me so well. 

But it isn’t Hime who walks towards me. It’s Suguru.

“How did you know I would be here?”

There is no use in asking him why he is here. 

I know why he is. 

“Your friend told me where to find you”, Suguru answers. 

I ignore the sting in my chest on why Hime would tell him that. Suguru seems like the type of person who can be quite convincing.

“I don’t want to talk.”

“Just give me 5 minutes and I promise we will leave.”

“No, you will just try to justify his behavior.”

“Trust me, I won’t give you any excuses. I just want to talk with you”, he pauses: “We haven’t seen each other in ages.”

I look at him, standing a few feet away from me in a white pullover and dark jeans. His left arm hangs weirdly loose on his body and his long, silky hair is falling out of his bun. Under his sharp eyes are dark shadows, but he is still so handsome it should be a crime. 

I shake that thought away.

“Please”, he grumbles but I just get up, walk past him and head to the rink. He doesn’t follow me, which I appreciate. He sits down on the bench and my first thought is how we used to sit on this exact bench together, lacing our skates in silence next to each other, all while we were snacking on a different kind of bar. I used to eat a protein one with strawberry flavor while he always picked one with vanilla flavor from the vending machine. 

I tried it once and nearly puked. It tasted like an old, wet washcloth dunked in vomit, but apparently it had the most proteins.

I couldn’t resist. 

I type into the vending machine a code and receive two bars. As I walk back to the bench, Suguru still sits there, his hands placed over his eyes like he needs a minute for himself.

“Catch”, I exclaim, he looks up just in time to capture the flying bar. 

He first glances at me, then at the bar in his hands. 

“I never understood why you chose to always eat this one. It tastes vile.”

He snickers at that: “because it has-”

“The most proteins.”, I finish for him and sit down next to him. He slightly smiles at me and nods, softly ripping the plastic wrap open with his teeth.  

I do the same with mine and we just sit there and eat. In complete silence like we used to do all these years ago. 

“What's wrong with your arm?”, I break the silence as I still notice Sugurus' arm hanging loosely on his side.

“Nerve damage”, he takes the bar between his lips and rolls his sleeve up, revealing a huge scar. With a blob he sucks the rest of the snack into his mouth and chews. 

“What happened?”, I ask him, now looking in his face.

“I got mugged after a night out”, he pulls his sleeve down again, staring at the wall in front of us. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry that’s horrible, but at least you are-”, I say and instantly regret it. 

I mentioned before how the media and most people say to athletes after an incident ‘at least’ it’s only a concussion, ‘at least’ it’s only a broken leg, ‘at least’ they didn’t die.

But they always forget that even one small injury can cost us our career. 

“That was dumb, sorry”, I wait before carrying on: “Chance of recovery?”

I can imagine his answer. 

“Zero, maybe in a few years there will be a therapy, but I don’t have high hopes”, Suguru sighs and tilts his head back. Even if he tries his best to conceal the pain in his voice, I can still hear it: “I left the Bruins after the attack.”

I can’t envision his pain. Training years and years for a goal, so someone takes your dream away from you with one stab. Someone snatching away all your hard work with one stab. Someone destroying your life with one stab. 

Over some change in your wallet and maybe a smartphone. 

“Did they catch them?”

“No, they didn’t”, Suguru breathes. His lips are pressed together to a thin line, eyes closed.

“I’m so sorry, Suguru.”

“It’s fine, really. I wasn’t that good of an Ice Hockey Player anyway.”

“Don’t ever say that. You know it’s not true.”

“It is. In contrast to Satoru I was a wimp.”

“They took your career, but don’t let them take your pride as well”, I mutter.

“Yeah, you are right”, he says and smiles at me, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. His expression is shallow.

If I was a better person, I would know exactly what to say to him. But I can’t even face my own problems without running away and tormenting my body. 

“Enough about me. You won at the Olympics, twice. Congratulations! I knew you would make it. Did you ever receive my letter?”

“Well thank you, and I did, but I didn’t have time to visit one of your games. Right after the Olympics my PR team didn’t give me one second for myself”

I want nothing more than to travel back in time and go and watch a stupid Ice Hockey game. I will never have the chance again to see Suguru playing on the rink.  

I nervously fidget with my hands, letting my fingers crack as I mumble: “I would have written you back, but your letter didn’t have a sender.”

“Or any other way to contact you”, I whisper under my breath. 

In the end surely I would have managed to find a way to contact him. 

For example I could have asked my old manager for help or just wrote to one of his team mates on Instagram (of course, a guy like Suguru doesn’t have social media). 

I would have found a way, but again. We weren’t close at all. Still aren’t, so why does this feel so different? Why do I feel like I'm talking with an old friend? 

Human connections can be so odd. 

I briefly chuckle at my own thoughts.  

Suguru looks at me, this time the shy smile ghosts around his eyes too. 

“I knew I had forgotten something.”

Now we both grin, me pressing my arm on my belly while he hides his laughter faintly behind his hand. 

“Why are you here?”, I ask him and he seems to understand what I actually mean.

“Satoru gave me a job after the attack, so I’m part of his recovery team.”

“How can you-”

“-hang around with him?”, he interrupts me with a chuckle.

“Hang around with him without shooting yourself in the head”, I add with a light smile.

Suguru stretches his legs and for a second the way he sits reminds me of Satoru.

“You will probably not believe me, but he is actually a really good guy.”

“You meant to say shithead.”

He laughs deeply and my heart starts to melt at that sound.

“Yes, he can be and you have every right to hate him, but he’s still at heart a good guy. Without him I don’t know if I would still be here.” 

Suguru takes a deep breath before continuing: “He took me out of my slumber after the attack and convinced the Rangers team to hire me as an assistant coach. He also pays for my medical bills and for both my sisters’ college tuition.”

I snort: “And all you have to do is just work under him. How practical.”

“I wanted that. He never forced me to. He said he would pay my bills and support me if I decided to become a stand-up comedian and he hates stand-up comedy”, a small chuckle leaves his lips. 

“Because after all he’s my best friend”

“Just because he treats you well, doesn’t mean he’s a good person.”

Suguru thinks for a moment.

“Maybe you are right, but I know he didn’t intend to hurt you.”

I chuckle sarcastically at his remark. 

“And how would you know?”

Suguru tilts his head back, staring at the ceiling.

“Satoru first ever mentioned you after he became captain around four years ago. You know as a captain, he has to know the opposing teams from A to Z. He told me he stumbled across your name as he looked up your father. I was still playing for the Bruins at that time as he facetimed me and together we watched you compete at the Olympics the second time. He rarely can shut his mouth for a second, but I swear to God he didn’t say one word during your performance”, Suguru smiles at me.

“By the way, you were amazing. I mean you still are”, again a shy smile, which I return.

“Anyway he didn’t speak for a while, even after you were done. I first thought he had a stroke or something, but then the only thing he said was: “If I had a daughter like her, I would not shut up about her.” He clearly meant your fathers ignorance over you. He didn’t understand why your father doesn’t acknowledge your existence.”

“Hm, makes two of us”, I butt in, waiting for Suguru to continue.

“I don’t understand it either”, again this small smile, which makes my heart stumble. 

He places his large hands on his knees, struggling with his left one. He tips his head towards me and continues: “A few weeks later he had a game against the Devils, and the Rangers won. He laughed at your father and said something along the lines of “of course your team lost when the coach can’t even acknowledge the talent inside his own family.”. Your father said something to him, but Satoru never told me what exactly. All I know is that he punched him and got suspended for the next three games.”

I remember that incident. I saw it on the news and still to this day Hime and I use it as a reaction gif. 

“That was Satoru? Really? Because I’m pretty sure the guy had red hair”, in the clip I saw online, you couldn’t see his face, just a red buzzcut. For a second I try to imagine Satoru with this hair style and come to the conclusion that he probably looked good with it too. I want to bash him against his head like he did to my father, but I still have to admit that Satoru is extremely hot. 

“He had an unusual hair color phase”, Suguru sighs with a smirk on his face. 

“As if his snow white hair is less unusual”, I comment and Suguru snicker. 

“But what I actually want to say is, Satoru had the urge to defend you in a way that could have cost him his career. Therefore I don’t think he ever intended to hurt you the way he did.”

I gaze at Suguru and see his crooked smile. He told me he wouldn’t excuse Satorus behavior but in the end he did. 

Apparently risking his career for me would be considered as honorable, but all I see again is his reckless behavior. Reckless behavior for a person he didn’t even know at that time. I start to think Satoru is actually insane. Who in their right mind does something like this? 

Probably someone who knows he gets away with everything. Three games suspension is really a clap on his hands for punching a coach. I bet every other player would have faced some serious consequences, but this doesn’t seem to include Satoru. He really is larger than life.

“And? You want me to forgive him because he punched my father? I never asked him to do that”, I stare challenging at him.

“No, I didn’t tell you this so you will forgive him. That’s completely up to you. I just told you, because the theme came up.”

“Yeah, right”, I don’t want to giggle, but I can’t control it. I can see him holding back a cackle.

I was right about Suguru, he is a really convincing person, maybe even a bit manipulating. 

I hold that thought back.  

“On our way to the resort, he told me he would make sure your father can no longer ignore you. I didn’t understand it at that time, but he must have had this idea from the beginning. Maybe not with this execution, but the fundamental idea.”

“And why does he think I care about my fathers attention?”

“I guess because attention is what every child deserves”, Suguru suggests with a smile.

“That’s the dumbest way possible to get his attention.”

“You are probably right, but Satoru always says even bad press is good press.”

“Of course this idiot would say that”, I mourn: “And now he wants me to drag him out of his bad press. Such a stupid idea.”

“I don’t particularly think it’s a stupid idea. Yes, the beginning is awful, especially for you. I’m sorry about all these horrible comments, but you have the might to form this relationship in any way you want. That’s the good thing about it being fake. You can create the entire narrative, and can control every aspect of it. If there is no love, just business, this could work out well”, he adds: “I know you will hate what I say now, but the cat is out of the bag. Everyone already thinks you both are in a relationship, so you should make the best out of it.”

“The best would be to say it was a joke.”

“No one would believe that.”

“I know”, I groan and grasp my head between my hands. 

“Wanna know my opinion?”

“No.”

He laughs and tells me his opinion anyway: “You should give it a chance.”

“But I don’t want to turn into Satoru Gojos girlfriend.”

“Then change the narrative however you like. Make people call him your boyfriend. You haven’t competed in years and you are still popular. If one person knows the media game, it’s you.”

“But in the end I still don’t see what I can gain from this, except money I don’t want and attention I don't need.”

“A good deed.”

“He doesn’t deserve my kindness.”

“Why not?”

“He drove under the influence.”

“I understand. I’m the last one to defend him for that, but some people would say people make mistakes and learn from them. Second chances exist for a reason”, Suguru looks up at me, trying to read what’s on my mind.

“My mother didn’t get a second chance as a drunk driver killed her.”

Suguru frowns and turns his upper body to me. 

I hadn't fully noticed that while we were talking, we got closer and closer together on this bench. He is sitting so close his knee sometimes touches mine when he is chuckling.

“I didn’t know it was a drunk driver. I just heard and read about a car crash.”

“Yeah, a lot of people don't know that.”

“I’m so sorry.”

I’m silent.

“One thing I can still remember about you was when you didn’t want to think or you had too many emotions in you, you would skate until you collapsed”, Suguru says out of the blue. Again, human connections can be so odd. 

All these years ago we barely talked but he still figured me out by just observing me. 

The same way I observed him. 

Again, I wish I could travel back in time to this exact bench with him lacing his skates and snacking on a bar and just having a tiny bit of courage to start an actual conversation. 

How different our lives would have turned out if we became even a little bit closer. 

“So Utahime didn’t tell you where to find me. You knew.”

“Yes, just didn’t want to come off as a creep.”, he scratches his head: “Maybe I’m completely wrong in my theory but your mother died right before the Olympics and you won Gold. I saw you on every TV show possible, doing everything except healing. Jumping right back into training for your second Olympics. Did you ever truly process her death?”

It’s crazy how well this man knows me. How well he can read me. Must be a gift he’s blessed with.

“No”, I answer truthfully. 

“Maybe this could be your chance to find closure, by helping Satoru out. He doesn’t show it, but the disappointment from his fans gnaws at him and sometimes I think he will give in and grab a bottle again.”  

So it wasn’t just the pain in his leg that made him drink. There are deeper issues. 

“Do you really think a fake relationship with me would help him?”

“I dare to say you are the only person who would be able to succeed with this task.” 

I sigh and tilt my head to the side, leaning it against Sugurus shoulder. 

I think about this situation. 

One thing is clear, Satoru isn’t just a normal Ice Hockey Player. He is the Ice Hockey Player of our time. He has more followers than a lot of movie stars. He is seen on red carpets and events that have nothing to do with Ice Hockey. I bet a lot of his fans don’t even watch his games and just follow him for his aesthetics or what not. When you say his name, most people will know him. He broke out of the niche Ice Hockey and became an actual celebrity.  

Something I also managed to accomplish years ago, but after I retired I didn’t really care anymore. I don’t go to events, I don’t go to shows or do any interviews. I just backtrack from the public eye and post a few pictures here and there. My follower count is stagnating. With this stunt that Satoru pulled he revived me back into the public eye. 

But do I even want to be there again?

All I knew my entire life was to skate. Living my mothers dream of winning at the Olympics. Heck, I have to accept it was also my dream in a way. Maybe it was a bit forced unto me, but I wouldn’t have come so far without my own determination. 

But now I sit in my hometown and have no clue what to do next. 

I feel really lost, if I’m being honest with myself. 

Suguru is right with many things. 

First, the photo is already posted. The public thinks Satoru and I are in a relationship. It’s easier to go along with it than explaining this mess.

Second, I could really find closure through Satoru. If I do this fake relationship, I can not only help Satoru, I will also make sure that he never brings himself nor an innocent person into a dangerous situation. For this I need to put my own loathing aside and learn to forgive.

Third, helping Satoru also gives me a purpose again. Something to do other than my mundane daily routine. Maybe this will help me find a new dream.

Fourth, I really hate my father. I was always polite. I never publicly said a bad word about him, but this fake relationship with Satoru could give me the chance to actually for once show the world what an asshole he is. I don’t want his attention in a good way. I want his attention for revenge. I want him to be unable to ignore me any longer. This means I have to step into his world, which is Ice Hockey. 

So I look up at Suguru from his shoulder and grin: “I mean my father would really hate being asked about my relationship with Satoru over and over again.”

I feel Sugurus' shoulders move as if he is laughing a bit. 

“Well, at least you know your father will not harass Satoru for money. Mine would do it in a heartbeat.”

I sometimes overheard Suguru talking on his phone with his father. About gambling debt and how Suguru often had to leave the training earlier to pick up his younger sisters because his father was in a casino. I’m glad that he had a scholarship. I don’t think he would have been able to go to university without it.

For whatever reason we both laugh at that. Well, it is kind of funny how different our problems with our fathers are but still they cause us the same distress.  

I hear the squeaking of the door again as Suguru and I keep laughing. As I look up I see Satoru standing there, staring perplexed at us, not saying a word. 

“Wanna add something to the shitty father conversation?”, I ask Satoru, who seems to be a bit amazed, that I actually talk with him. But only for a second, before his cool demeanor snaps back and he says: “No, mine is cool. Always let me do my thing.”

“Some people are just lucky”, Suguru declares and stretches his arm out, after I stopped leaning my head against his shoulder. 

“What are you both doing here?”, Satoru asks after a while. I tip my head to the side and gaze at Suguru.

“We just talked about the good old times”, Suguru answers, but we actually barely talked about this. Mainly because we actually never closely interacted. Everything we know from each other was because of our observation of the other person. 

I look at Suguru and a fifth reason comes to my mind.

Fifth, if I agree to the fake relationship, I have a real chance to get to know Suguru, not just observations. I could sit on this bench with him again everyday while Satoru has his training sessions with Mei Mei, eat a protein bar and finally have a connection with him. A reason to talk, a reason to get to know him. 

No need for me to time travel back to this bench nearly 10 years ago. 

“By the way, I actually think the protein bar you ate is expired. Can’t remember the last time I refiled this one. You were the only person to ever eat these”, I joke to Suguru.

“It tasted fine to me.”

“Maybe because it tastes expired anyway”, I turn my body towards Suguru next to me, my leg bent on top of the bench: “Oh, I remember one time some girls bought the same bar after you picked it from the vending machine. They screamed at Masamichi on why he is selling expired food. They couldn’t believe it hadn't expired.”

“Some girls bought a protein bar because of Suguru? I never knew you were this popular with the ladies”, Satoru chimes in, leaning against the wall parallel to us, smirking at Suguru. His white hair falls back into his blue eyes as he blows a strand away. 

“She’s exaggerating”, Suguru murmurs shyly and I jest: “Yeah right, once you graduated and didn’t train here anymore, there were a lot less girls cheering for your old team.”

“I knew it! You womanizer!”, Satoru quips as he walks over to Suguru and playfully punches his shoulder. For a minute they both seem to throw small jabs at each other, both grinning while doing it.

“He never talks with me about girls”, Satoru addresses me while Suguru tries to get Satorus hand of his shoulder with an annoyed expression.

“And I can see why”, I answer with a small smile, seeing Suguru roll his eyes.

“Hey”, Satoru lets go of Suguru and peers at me with an unsure expression: “I’m really sorry about everything I did.”

I can tell from the look in his eyes, he not only means the picture. 

He means the video he took of us making out. He means him drinking alcohol at the pub. He probably even means stumbling in my life and surely even his car crash months ago.

“We packed everything together and booked a flight back. Again, I’m sorry. You are right, I was egotistical. I will do everything in my power to resolve this.”

“There is a solution”, I get up and stand in front of him. Even in my skates I’m nowhere near as tall as him. I bite on my lower lip as I stare at him, unsure if I’m really doing the right thing. 

If I should really listen to all the reasons. 

Satoru is a wild card. Reckless, arrogant and egotistical. The worst kind to get along with. The worst kind to fake a PR relationship with. 

But fuck it, I always love a good competition. If I can manage to turn this mess into a beneficial deal for both of us, I can do anything. 

But most importantly even after everything that had happened between us, I still can’t seem to fully hate him. 

Yes, I wanted to rip him apart not even twenty minutes ago, but I have to admit to myself, I like him. Maybe because he is reckless, arrogant and egotistical. 

Me too, just in a completely different way. 

He is intoxicating. 

I know against my better judgment, I would regret not doing this with him. 

I would regret it as soon as I fall back into my daily life after he leaves this rink.

Even if this will end badly, which it probably will, I don’t want to regret it by not saying yes. 

This is going to be the performance of my life time.

“Let’s do it.”

“What do you mean?”, Satoru wipes his hair out of his face, looking a bit dumbfounded at me with an open mouth. 

“Let us fake date.”

“Are you serious?”, his mouth is still open.

“Yes, I am.”

“I don’t know what to say other than thank-”

“Don’t thank me just now. This isn’t going to be easy peasy lemon squeezy. There will be a lot of rules.”

“I will do everything”, he hums, beaming like a small child who sees the DisneyLand Castle for the first time.

I smile at him too. 

He seems eager, but he has no idea what’s in store for him. 

My entire life I expected perfection from myself. Now I want that from him too.   

“I will write a list with rules and send it to you. I want a written contract”, I sit back down and get rid of my skates.

“Sure, everything you want”, he says and looks at Suguru with a big grin, shooting him a thumbs up. Suguru pats my back lightly with a smile, like he is proud of me for doing this. More so for myself than Satoru.

“I guess, I will go back and tell Ichiji to cancel the flights”, Suguru gets up and our eyes meet for a second. 

“Welcome to the team.”

My glance follows him until he is out of sight. 

“Hey”, Satoru tries to get my attention back. 

I look up at him.

“Did you and Suguru ever fuck?”

I frown. 

“What?”

“You heard me. Was there or better is there something between the two of you? Because if so, I can’t have this fake relationship with you”, he doesn’t look at me, instead he focuses on cracking his fingers in a rough way.

“No! I mean, we actually never talked. Today was the first time we ever really did. I don’t-, we don’t know each other at all.”, I stammer: “There wasn’t and isn’t something between us.”

I feel like I just lied to him, even though it’s the truth.

“Good”, he smiles weakly. 

“You see, he’s my best friend, but he never really talks about his feelings with me. As I told him about my idea with the fake dating, he seemed fine with it, but I just had to make sure by asking you.”

“Sure, I understand”, I say, feeling a weird sense of guilt. 

My focus is on my skates again as I get them off my feet. I slip my shoes on and stand up, Satorus broad frame leaning over me again as he reaches his hand out for me to take and shake. Without saying a word I take his large hand, his long fingers wrapping around to my palm. We both stare at each other as we silently agree to our deal. 

To our fake relationship. 

I let go of his hand, feeling his touch still linger on me as I step past him with goosebumps on my arms. 

I turn around once more before meeting the corner and snicker: “By the way, you owe me a new phone.”

His gaze follows me the entire time. He shortly seems puzzled by my words but instantly his calm mime returns.

“Everything you want.” 

He smiles. I smile.

Then laughter. 

[intothemysticfic]

E.O.L: Staying over

Evolution of Love Series

You stand at the window, watching how snow blankets the ground. It's hard to see the apartment across the way with the heavy fall of flakes. "You shouldn't drive in that," Taeil says, coming up behind you with a cup of hot chocolate.

"Yeah, I guess," you agree, taking the mug he offers you. It's easy to decide despite the nerves that burst through you at the thought of spending the night together.

"I can take the couch," he offers, always the gentleman. You make a show of humming and tapping your chin in thought. "Or, we could share the bed. It's awfully cold. You could keep me warm."

He lets out a nervous giggle, not meeting your eyes as he agrees with a fond smile. "Or we could do that. Share the bed." 

The two of you lay on a nest of pillows and blankets in the dark living room. The movie you've been watching is ending, but you don't want it to. You have no interest in another film. You have no desire to leave either. Pleasantly warm with your head on Johnny's chest and his arm around you.

"You should stay," he murmurs as the credits roll. It's easy to agree. It's easier to let him shift you both around until you are lying bundled up in blankets with his chest pressed against your back. You hope you can have nights like this more often, nights where you don't have to say goodbye. 

Pleasantly full from the dinner you had fixed for the two of you, you moved to the couch to watch TV, neither of you are ready to part yet. One minute, you are chattering about the characters on TV; the next, Taeyong is silent. You’re surprised to find him sleeping; you can't help but watch for several minutes as he breathes softly.

Knowing how hard he works, you can't bring yourself to wake him. Instead, you turn off the show, going to the hall closet to grab a blanket to drape over him. "Sleep well," you whisper, hoping he only has good dreams. 

The two of you had lost track of time. It's so late when Yuta drops you at your door. "You could sleep here," you offer, startled by your own words, "I mean, if you want. It's late! And you seem tired. It would probably be safer." Embarrassment crawls across your skin, worried he'll take the offer the wrong way and wishing you could just shut up.

Yuta laughs at the spill of words, teasing, "You want me to sleep over that much?"

You squirm, "I just mean... It's late, and you could. If you want."

He smiled brightly. "You're right; it's probably safer. And I'd like to." 

The wine you'd shared with Doyoung at dinner hit you harder than you imagined they would. He takes you home, helping you up the stairs to your door. "Make sure you drink some water."

You pout at him, holding onto his arms. "No."

"No?" he laughs, wondering what's gotten into you.

"No. Not unless you get it for me. Not unless you stay."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," he says, searching your face and trying to gauge how drunk you are.

"I'm positive it's a great idea." It doesn't take much for Doyoung to cave, cooing over you and making sure you drink a glass of water before you get ready for bed. 

"I don't want to leave." You admit, "Wanna stay like this forever." In the sanctuary of Jaehyun’s apartment with him. Where neither of you has to worry about prying eyes or rumors.

"Then don't leave. Stay here. Stay right here," he offers, pulling you tighter against him. The simple joy of being alone with you, new and exciting, makes it so easy to hold you tightly and never let you go. 

The tears have stopped, but your cheeks are still wet in the aftermath. Maybe it's too early in the relationship to lean on Jungwoo like this, but he doesn't seem to mind as he hugs you close, murmuring soothing words.

"I don't want to be alone," you admit, begging him to stay.

"I won't leave," he agrees, pulling back to dry your face with the edge of his sweater sleeve. He’s already so gone on you that he’d do anything you asked. He just isn’t ready to say it out loud yet.

You're starting to put your shoes on, happy after spending time with Mark. Sometimes, finding time to have dates or even just hang out for a while is hard.

He’s hoovering behind you, shifting anxiously. "You don't have to leave," he blurts. You pause to look up at him.

"You could stay," he offers, adding, "We could get breakfast in the morning." Even without the addition of getting food in the morning, the offer is too good to pass up. Because the truth is you don't want to leave, time spent with Mark is time that you treasure. 

Haechan is pacing in your living room, frustrated tears threatening to spill from his red eyes. It breaks your heart to see. He rants, "I just wish I could have some space, some peace. I mean, they camp outside the company, outside the dorms. They follow us everywhere!"

"Stay here," you blurt, desperate to ease his stress, to give him a break. "Stay here." Where there are no prying eyes, no overzealous fans. Where it's just him and you.

"Are you sure?" He asks, tentative like he's afraid you'll take it back.

"I'm positive." He pulls you into a grateful embrace.

[sophxr88]

Little [M.S}

Chapter One

January 16th 2024

“He’s got rights, Y/N” My best friend, Abby sighed, taking a seat on the floor in front of the baby bouncer. Maya squealed and reached her hands out towards Abby, as she pushed with her legs to move the bouncer up and down.

“Thanks for the reminder, but we’ve come this far without him and we can manage a lot longer” I sighed, keeping my back to her and holding my phone in my hand.

“I didn’t say you couldn’t, but-“

I turned around, meeting her eyes as she gave me a sympathetic look.

“Drop it” I snapped, shooting her a warning look. “I’ll make the decisions for my daughters future”

The subject of Maya’s dad has always been sensitive. It was a topic nearly everyone I know seemed to have an opinion on and they didn’t hide it. Since I found out I was pregnant, I’d had the same conversation over and over again and my patience was wearing thin.

I know everyone had our best intentions at heart, but it didn’t make it less frustrating when people believed they knew what was best.

“I never said you can’t…I just think he deserves to know he has a daughter, and Maya deserves to know her Dad” I didn’t say anything, I turned my attention to Maya, taking her out of the bouncer.

You wouldn’t know she was his. She missed out on the blue eyes and her hair could still change. She had my striking green eyes and a head of thick dark hair. The pregnancy was full of worry of people finding out who her dad was.

“I’ve told you anyway” I sighed, turning to face Abby, who was still on the floor. “Even if I wanted to get in touch with him, I wouldn’t know where to start. I deleted his number and every trace I had of him”

Him. Even saying his name threw up memories I tried to forget. Memories that hurt to think about, never mind remember.

“I have his number somewhere” Abby said, reaching for her phone before I stepped forward, catching her attention quickly as she drew her hand back.

“Can we drop it? Please?”

Abby hesitated before nodding, agreeing to drop it before turning her attention back to the show on TV while I fed Maya.

I spent time thinking of the relationship they’d have if he was in her life, the kind of Dad he’d be, but in reality, it would probably be more difficult than people made out. His career had blown up since we split up and most of his time was spent doing one thing or another.

It wasn’t as simple as some separated parents had it. He spent every week in a new country, a new time zone, new people to see, new people to impress. Not the life of a Dad, that’s for sure.

***

I yawned and rubbed my eyes before glancing at the clock on the bedside table. It was half three in the morning. I groaned and lay there for a second, listening to the cries coming from the baby monitor. Maya had been waking up at this hour for the past two weeks and it was exhausting.

Without her, I’d be a lost cause. She depended on me for everything, but she gave me everything I needed without trying. Looking at her made my heart swell with more love than I thought possible. I loved people before, but this was much different.

Being a single parent was the hardest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever experienced. On one hand, I got to experience everything with her for the first time, and we had an undeniable bond, but the lack of help from a partner wasn’t easy.

“You don’t have to be a single parent!” I could hear Abby shouting at me.

No, I didn’t, but it was a decision I made for the best.

Night feeds weren’t bad. I’d sit there in the dark and wonder how time passed so quickly. I imagined her all grown up, causing havoc in the house, her first day of kindergarten, her first day of school.

One day, she wouldn’t need me at all. She’d be in the big world without me. The thought of her not needing me anymore made me sick and made me hug her tighter as she stared back at me.

I rocked her back and forth, humming to her before laying her in bed next to me. At five months old, she was stubborn, she inherited that from me. My body longed for sleep, but I knew I’d be wishing for these sleepless nights again.

I rested my hand on her belly, making soothing motions as she gurgled away. I closed my eyes for a second, telling myself I just had to rest them for a minute. The two weeks of broken sleep decided otherwise.

“Morning, sleeping beauty” I heard Abby, standing at my bedroom door, holding Maya.

I frowned, blinking as I watched her open the curtains and let the sun shine into the room.

“What time is it?” I groaned, letting myself wake up properly before sitting up and meeting her eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s almost ten, Y/N. Did you forget? January 16th?” She furrowed her eyebrows as I racked my brain.

“Oh, lunch in town with David!” My eyes widened when I remembered the plans we made. “I didn’t forget, it just…slipped my mind, shit we’re supposed to be there in an hour!”

I pulled myself out of bed and into the bathroom to make myself more presentable. Abby called out that she dressed Maya and got her ready to leave.

We arrived fifteen minutes late to the cafe we arranged to meet at, but with a five month old, I’d call it a success. I was thankful the subway was empty, I learned pretty quickly after having Maya that taking a stroller on a packed subway wasn’t easy.

We waved to David when we spotted him. He stood up when we got closer, helping me manoeuvre the stroller so it was out of the way to greet us properly. He took Maya out of the stroller and put her on his knee, much to her delight.

David became a huge part of my life when Maya was born, him and Abby had history, they me when Abby got a job in the company he worked at and they hit it off.

David fell head over heels for her, resulting in a romance and ending in tears, mainly his. He proposed and she gently let him down with a simple ‘not yet’

He loved her more than words could describe. I don’t think he’d ever give up on her. Her answer was ‘not yet’ not ‘never’ . The day it became a ‘yes’ , I knew he’d be waiting for her.

Abby was clueless. She loved him, but she had no idea about how he’d go to the end of the earth if she asked him to. He’d do anything for her. I longed for what they had.

“I can’t believe she’s gotten!” David said, shaking his head in disbelief. He spent the last ten minutes making faces at Maya, making her laugh while she played with the toy I brought with us. “It’s crazy!”

“Shes growing too fast, soon she’ll be packing her bags and off to college” I smiled, stroking Maya’s cheek. She was my greatest achievement.

I turned my head when I heard my phone vibrate from where I set it on the table, frowning when I saw the No Called ID. It was probably someone trying to sell me something.

I gave up, pressed the green button to answer and held it to my ear.

“Hello?” I sighed, waiting for an automated voice to answer, but I was met with a sharp intake of breath.

“Y/N” the voice on the other end whispered. “Is that you?”

My blood ran cold when I realised who the voice belonged to. My jaw dropped as I searched for the words, my breath catching as I felt everything I’d known to crash in front of my eyes